Where's Tori?
by Quitting Time
Summary: One day Tori vanishes, leaving her girlfrend Jade to try and cope with her absence. Year's later, Jade has long since given up hope of seeing Tori again. But what happens when the impossible does happen. A Jori Story.
1. Missing

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 1 – Missing**

**Jade's POV**

"Hey honey, it's me. I just finished in studio for the day. I'm going to stop at the store to get milk on the way home. Love you."

The above is a voice mail. It was 6 seconds long and was left at 6:47 PM on June the 17th. Too anyone, the message doesn't look very out of the ordinary. At the time I was on a movie set and didn't get her call. So she left a message.

It's a very special message, for me at least. Why, do you ask?

Well first of all that message, which I have managed to keep, is 9 years, 7 months and 22 days old. It was also the very last time I heard from Tori.

Shortly after she left that message, she was last seen by the receptionist at the recording studio where she was working on her second album. She said a cheerful good night to the receptionist and left the building.

She never made it home.

At the time we were both 20 years old and a happy couple. She was working on her first album and my acting career had begun to take off. We had our problems as all couples do, but we were happy.

We were happy until that day, when I came home to an empty house. I didn't worry right away, figuring she stopped at Cat's or perhaps got sucked into a sale at the mall.

By 8:30 I started to get worried. I had called and texted Tori to no avail. I called everyone I could think of; no one had seen or heard from Tori. Her father, who was a cop, started the search right away.

Her car was found 3 days later, in the parking lot of a grocery store about 3 miles from the studio. Nothing appeared amiss at all about it. Just a green Honda accord parked like any other car. It hadn't been broken into or damaged in any way. The store had no security cameras on the outside of the building and no one remembered seeing anything.

Tori had simply vanished.

As the hours and days ticked by, I grew more frantic. The reporters splashed it all across the headlines, Upcoming pop star Tori Vega, Vanishes mysteriously. I sobbed continuously for months after she disappeared. Cat, Beck, Andre, Robbie, even Trina tired to console me. They would say she's coming back. I still was devastated.

Searches were made in local parks, everywhere. I used to just drive around for hours, just in the hopes of seeing her. Sometimes I would park in the spot where her car was found, and cry.

When someone you love dies, you know it's the end of their life. You gradually accept that and move on. When someone just disappears, you never know what happened. Are they dead? Are they alive? Are they in pain? Did they leave you on purpose? Those and a thousand other questions rattle through your brain. Questions that never get answered. They just sit in the back of your mind haunting you. Much like a wound the never heals.

My beloved Tori was gone. Ever since, I feel like my heart had been ripped in two and one half of it stolen. There's been an empty feeling in my chest ever since. I've never been able to fill it.

I have rituals that I go through every year. On Tori's birthday, I light a candle for her, put it in my window, and get drunk. On the anniversary of her disappearance, I'll drive to the parking lot where her car was found. I'll just sit there in my car and cry, then I'll get drunk. I am high functioning alcoholic to it bluntly.

Though I stayed functional enough to keep acting, I was broken inside. I stayed faithful to Tori for almost 2 years. One night at a bar, a woman who barred a close resemblance to Tori came on to me. I just had to have Tori, even if it was a poor copy of her.

I never stopped after that. Girl after girl and the occasional guy, I would take home. No one could ever fill the hole left by Tori. The drinking couldn't either. I was a successful actress but quickly garnered a reputation for sleeping around a lot. In the course of time I even touched off a scandal when it was found I was having an affair with the wife of a local conservative politician. I destroyed that marriage and he chose not to run for reelection. I was constant tabloid fodder.

My public loved my movies and the love the scandal and controversy I caused as well. I no longer cared. I just did what I did to kill the pain and try to fill the void in my soul. People who knew and worked with me, quickly learned one thing. You don't mention Tori in my presence. Just the mention of her name sent a sharp pain through my insides that felt like a wound being torn open.

I would be in a club sometimes and one of her songs would be played. I would always leave. People actually began to think that I hated Tori's music, since I refused to listen to it. If it came on a radio I would insist it be turned off.

It was actually the opposite. I loved her music. I loved the sound of her voice. But it was so painful to here it, I could only listen to it alone. From time to time I would put on her album, pull out her box of things and cry until I fell apart into tiny little pieces.

My friends, urged me to move on and find someone else. Someone that would last longer than the short flings I was well known for. I tried a couple of times, but I couldn't do it. I would find some reason to break it off after a few months. The memory of Tori was a stone around my neck.

I gradually lost touch with the others. I think they got tired of me constantly acting out like I did. They also got tired of banging their heads against the wall in trying to help me. The last of my friends from Hollywood arts I spoke to was Cat and that was just after Tori was declared legally dead.

She tried to console me and invited me over to her and Beck's home. She married Beck after high school. Instead I went on a 2 week drinking binge and crashed my car.

Though my personal life was still in shambles, my career kept going. I somehow managed to compartmentalize and shut Tori out of my mind when I was on set.

I wrote and directed my first movie last year to rave reviews. It was a horror movie called "I'm sorry" It centers on a bullying group of vain, self centered and cruel cheerleaders at a high school. They constantly bully and humiliate a unpopular girl who eventually kills herself. After that the girls are one by one, murdered. But in each case it's made to look like they killed themselves. No one knows the suicides are actually murders. In the end the last and meanest cheerleader, driven mad by the unexplained suicides of all her friends, hangs herself. In the end, the killer is never found out and life goes on. I patterned the meanest cheerleader after me and the unpopular girl after Tori. I even had an actress's that looked like Tori and I to play the parts. It's a form of celluloid suicide, for the guilt I feel becuase of how I treated Tori before we started to date.

It got rave reviews and killed at the box office. I'm even getting offers to write a sequel. Kind of hard, since everyone is dead. I have a huge house overlooking the ocean, several cars and a career going like crazy. So my public doesn't seem to mind the scandals and broken hearts I leave behind, as they love my movies.

I'd give everything up, just to have Tori back in my arms. But the dream of having Tori back, has long since died.

I still listen to that message. I've heard it hundreds of times. I listen over and over, in hopes of getting some clue to what was about to happen to her. I listen to every little change in tone or pitch in the 6 second message. But if the message had any answers, they've so far eluded me.

Tonight, I woke up in the middle of the night with the beginnings of a hangover and a throbbing headache. I'm not alone as I took home a make up artist named Sara. She's snoring loudly next to me. It reminds me of Tori's snoring, and I hate being reminded of Tori. Too fucking painful. I think I'll forget to call her ever again, after this.

I got up, drank some water, took an aspirin and used the bathroom. But as I walked back to the bed, I spotted a light flashing on my phone. I left it on the charger on silent, but still turned on. I remember no calls being there when I went to sleep around 1 am.

I was half tempted to ignore it until the morning, but something made me pick up the phone.

I looked at the notification screen.

6 missed calls

6 voice mail messages.

"What the fuck" I muttered as I pulled my long hair back and pulled it back in a ponytail.

I checked out the callers. 1 from Beck, 2 from Cat and 2 from Andre and one from an unknown number.

I starred at the screen in disbelief. I hadn't spoken to Cat or Beck in 2 years and I hadn't spoke to Andre in 4 years. Why are they all calling me tonight at 4 in the dam morning?

I was about to play the voice mails when the phone lit up with another call. The caller Id read. Andre.

Still partially asleep, but very curious, I answered the phone.

"What the fuck do you want Andre? It's four in the fucking morning. Can't you tell time asshole?" I barked into the phone.

"Jade, Jade." He quickly said, sounding very excited and nearly out of breath. "You'll never believe it."

I was loosing patience. "Believe what." I snapped.

"It's Tori, she's alive, the police found her." He said breathlessly.

**I was inspired to write this the day those three girls were found alive in Ohio and wrote the first 2 chapters in a matter of hours. The whole thing just came to me and I had to at least put it on paper. I was hesitant to put out the story at all. There are people right now who are missing and family members that wonder constantly where they are. We can only hope some of these other missing can find their way home.**

**I asked and several people encouraged me to put out the story. It won't be too terribly long. But who knows, it could stretch out if I think of a good story. **

**So here it is, the first part of my story. Jade is a very successful actress/writer/director but inside is emotionally crippled and has a drinking problem. She's unable to maintain any sort of long term relationship and has driven away everyone close to her. **


	2. She Know's

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori?**

**Chapter 2 – She know's**

**Jade's POV**

"It's Tori she's alive, the police found her."

Those 8 words hit me like a sledgehammer. I was so stunned that I actually fell backwards and knocked over a table that was against the wall. I had a vase with flowers on the table, which fell to the floor and shattered. Tori always liked keeping a vase of flowers in our bedroom. I kept one there because that's what she would have wanted.

"WHAT!" Was the only thing, my mind could come up with as I picked myself up off the floor.

Sara shot up in bed, woken up by the sudden noise. "What's going on?" She said sleepily.

My mind reeled, Tori alive and I have someone else in my bed. "Get out!" I said quickly.

She looked at me as if I was crazy. "Its four in the morning and you're kicking me out?"

"Yes, get the fuck out!" I shouted at her, before going back to the phone.

"Some wacko had her. I guess Tori escaped and he's under arrest. She's down at River park police station."

I hung up the phone without saying goodbye or paid attention to the stream of curses being directed at me by Sara as I threw on some sweats.

My heart was racing, my brain was spinning. My Tori was alive. I had to get to her as fast as I could. Some part of me didn't believe it. I didn't want to get my hopes up. In the past there have been false leads.

It was thought she was the victim of a serial killer who had been plaguing the area, at the time. But when he was arrested, no sign of her was found. A ex convict, said his cell mate bragged about killing and burying Tori in the woods once. Nothing came of that. But the thought of Tori being buried in some woods haunted me for months after that.

Sara told me to fuck off and stormed out, as I washed my face. I had to see Tori, but if this was some hoax I was going to find the person who did it and skin them alive.

Wearing only sweats and no makeup, I jumped into my black Ferrari and sped off. As I drove I flipped on the news. Hoping for some confirmation of what Andre told me.

I found a news station and heard the announcer speaking.

"She was being held in the home of a 37 year old electrician who is now currently under arrest. When Miss Vega escaped, she was able to phone police from a neighbor. Police also say that Miss Vega was being held in what amounted to small basement apartment. It had a bed, a bathroom, a small kitchen, a bookshelf with books, a radio and a TV and..."

Horrified, I switched off the radio and slammed on the brakes.

"FUCK!" She had a radio and a TV. I'm on the news all the god dam time. She has to know that I'd screw any girl that moved. She had to know about the marriage I broke up." The sad thing is that I've actually broken up two marriages, the press only knows about one of them.

Still parked in the middle of a deserted street, I got out of the car and I walked around it. I was suddenly panic stricken.

"Oh God, she's knows I haven't been faithful." I said almost hysterically, as my hands began to shake. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, she probably hates me."

I suddenly became very sick and threw up right in the street. I felt beyond horrible. Here she was being held by some wack job and I'm chasing tail all over Hollywood.

After emptying the contents of my stomach in the street, I managed to pull myself back together enough to drive on.

I arrived at the police station to see a small army of reporters and onlookers standing on the lawn in front of the police station. They seemed to be waiting for a statement.

I was half in a daze as I got out of her car and slowly walked to the building. None of the reporters seemed to recognize me. Wearing only sweats, no makeup and not having my hair done, I appeared to be just another onlooker. There were lots of them around.

A tear came to my eye. "Tori's in there. I have to apologize to her for being unfaithful. Hope that shell forgive me." I thought desperately as I tired to keep myself together.

As I was walking, I could hear snatches of conversation, a comment made by a reporter to another made me freeze in her tracks.

"Have we seen the child yet?"

I turned to the reporter. "Child?"

The reporter half glanced at me "Yeah, she escaped with her 5 year old girl."

I was feeling bad enough already, but suddenly I felt like I'd had been punched in the stomach. The pain was so real; I put my hands to my belly and doubled over.

"Tori, my Tori has a child. What did he do to her?" I gasped in horror.

Suddenly I found I couldn't move another step closer. A horrible fear suddenly pierced every part of me. It poured through me like an icy river. "What if she doesn't need me? Or doesn't remember me? or Just hates me?"

I just stood there, unsure if I should even try to move forward. "Is that even my Tori anymore?" I muttered to myself, as I took a step back.

What courage I had to go on, had evaporated. I took another step back and then another. I was so afraid of being rejected, not to mention horrifically ashamed of myself, so I kept moving back.

Until I backed into someone.

"Oh I'm sorry." I said as I noticed I had bumped into a uniformed policeman. He looked to be about 22 and looked like a blonde surfer type.

"No Problem Miss" The cop said, as he took a step away. "Hey wait a minute. You're Jade West, the actress aren't you?"

I half nodded. "Yes, but I'm leaving, I don't think I belong here." I said, as I could feel my heart break.

He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Hasn't anyone contacted you yet?"

I shook my head and wiped a tear from my face. "No. Why?"

"She's been asking for you." He said.

"Who?"

"Miss Vega of course. I thought they were trying to contact you."

I pulled out my phone and realized I never taken it off silent. There were now several additional missed phone calls and messages. I didn't recognize the number, but I guessed it was the police.

I looked up at the policeman. "My phone was on silent. She really wants to see me?"

He nodded. "Yes she does, she's asked for you several times. I'm Officer Bradford, by the way. If you'll come with me, I'll take you too her."

My heart jumped at the thought of seeing Tori again. Not only that, but Tori wanted to see me. All I wanted to do was hold her, cry and apologize to her for being unfaithful. I know 9 years is a long time to remain faithful but I was half out of my mind at this point. She felt so ashamed. I just preyed Tori would forgive me.

The policeman led me around the side of the building, through a side door. "If I take you in the front, every reporter there will hound you."

I was led through the door of the police station. With every step I could feel the anxiety rising up inside of me. My nerves were completely shot and I hadn't realized my hands had begun to tremble.

He led me through a few twisting and turning corridors where they encountered two detectives standing outside an office. One was an older distinguished looking black man and the other a younger scruffy looking white guy.

"Detectives Mills and Sommerset. Here is Jade West, I believe that Miss Vega wanted to see her." Officer Bradford said.

The older detective extended his hand which I shook. "I'm detective Sommerset, "Glad to have you here. She's been asking for you."

"Is she ok?" I said meekly. "What happened to her?"

"Well in brief, she was kidnapped by an obsessed fan who thought she was his wife. He held her for a number of years. He unfortunately raped her and she had a child. Physically she's seems ok. We are going to take her to the hospital for a full checkup shortly. Mentally she's a bit shaken up. She's asked for you repeatedly. We were trying to reach you."

I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the sob's that I was trying to hold back. "Oh God. Can I see her please?"

"Of course, she's in this office, right behind us. We'll leave you alone for a moment." Detective Mills said.

My hands were shaking as I slowly opened the door and walked in, closing the door behind me.

There sitting in a chair with her back to me was the unmistakable form or Tori. Her hair was much shorter though. It was only down to her shoulders. Her tan was now long gone, her skin now very pale. For a moment I felt like I was seeing a ghost, as her skin was almost white. I guessed it was from being out of the sun so long.

I was suddenly paralyzed; my heart was practically pounding out of my chest. After 9 years, here I was right in front of her Tori Vega. I had no idea what I would say or do. The whole moment was so surreal. I could even smell her. My head was practically swimming.

I opened my mouth to speak, but only a tiny squeak came out. But that was loud enough to attract Tori's attention. The Latina stood up, she was wearing Jeans and an old green t shirt. Just seeing those beautiful brown eyes again cause me to immediately start to cry. I had my Tori back.

A happy smile appeared on Tori's face as she rushed across the room and pulled me into a extremely tight hug. Being in her arms for the first time in 9 years was heaven. I wrapped my arms around her and held her as tight as I could. I never wanted to let her go again.

"Jade!" Tori said tearfully.

Both Tori and I cried uncontrollably as we held each other for the first time in 9 years. I was feeling so many emotions, I'm surprised I didn't completely melt down on the spot. It was simply too good to be true, but it was true. I couldn't believe it at all. I had stopped dreaming of this moment, because it became too painful.

Finally Tori pulled back and smashed her lips into mine. It was a nearly crazy uncontrollable kiss. I could feel the emotions she was pouring into this kiss. I did the same, kissing her back with like there was no tomorrow.

"I missed you so much Jade." Tori finally said breaking the kiss. "I can't believe you're here again."

"I…I…Don't even know what to say Tori." I said as I cried even harder. "Please forgive me.''

Tori looked concerned and cupped her hand to my face. "Forgive you for what?"

"Surely you've see me on the TV or heard about me on the radio. I've been unfaithful to you." I said, as I felt an ocean of guilt suddenly rise from inside of me. I literally felt like I was drowning in it. I quickly fell to my knees, purely out of shame and guilt. "I'm sorry, please forgive me." I sobbed.

Tori, quickly pulled me up and wrapped her arms around me. "It wasn't you. You were acting out in anger and loneliness. You were trying to fill that void left by me. It was a natural reaction in such traumas. There's nothing to forgive. I have you back and that's all that matters to me. I love you Jade. So stop feeling guilty."

I suddenly felt like a crushing weight had been lifted off my soul. "Thank you baby. I love you. You seemed to know a lot about.."I said, still crying.

"Psychology? Yes. 2 years ago I found a box of books on psychology in a crawlspace in the basement. I think his deceased uncle or something was psychologist. In the last two years, I read every single one of them at least twice. Abnormal Psychology, Child's psychology, a whole ton of them. I was able to use some of that knowledge to trick him into trusting me. The first chance I had, I ran. You were the first person I asked for."

"I'm still sorry about all my antics. I feel so ashamed." I said tearfully.

"Don't be. In a way it helped me. Even though it hurt me to see you in such obvious pain on the news, at least I could see you. He wouldn't buy me any of your movies, but each time you appeared on a tabloid show, I could see your face. It helped me."

"Mama" said a quiet little voice from the doorway.

I looked to see a police officer letting in a small girl with long brown hair. She had brown eyes just like her mother. I said nothing, but just looked at Tori's child. She was a beautiful little girl.

Tori turned and opened her arms for the child who ran into them. Tori then picked up the child who clung tightly to Tori. The little girl smiled and kissed Tori on the cheek. I didn't know what to think. I also didn't know what it would mean to us

Tori then looked to the little girl. "Pumpkin, I want you to meet Jade."

The little girl gave me rather bashful smile then looked at Tori. "She has the same name as me."

**They are together but each one has changed since they've last been together. They both have serious issues to deal with on top of that. They have started on the road to recovery but they have some miles ahead of them.**

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews for the first chapter. I've been trying to deal with this realistically. When someone vanishes, everyone suffers. Tori may seem ok, but like Jade she has serious issues to deal with.**


	3. While you were away

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 3 – While you were away.**

**Jade's POV**

I was utterly dumbstruck. Tori named her child after me. I couldn't have been more touched. I looked at the little girl. "You're name is Jade?"

The little girl nodded with a smile. She then turned to Tori. "Mama, I'm tired. Can I lie down on the couch there?" Tori then nodded and gently lay the girl down on the couch and covered her with a blanket. The little girl seemed to fall asleep almost instantly.

"You named your little girl Jade. I don't even know what to say." She's so beautiful.

Tori sat down in a chair and pulled another one next to it and motioned for me to sit down. There she quickly wrapped her fingers with mine. Just feeling her touch was intoxicating.

"Having a girl named Jade, made me feel closer to you. I..I..." Tori started to speak as she seemed to start breaking down. "thought I'd never see you again."

With that she pulled me into another hug, as the tears began to flow again.

"I felt the same way. That last voice mail you left me. I still have it. I've listened to it over a thousand times. I'd listen to it at night, when I was all alone. When I just needed to hear your voice. I didn't know if you were alive or dead." I said, my voice shaking.

At this point there was a knock on the door and one of the two detectives popped his head in the door. "Miss Vega, the ambulance is here to take you and your daughter to the hospital for a proper check up."

I stood up wondering if I should leave, I didn't to but I wasn't sure where I stood. "Well I guess I…"

Tori quickly squeezed my hand as her composure quickly vanished. "Jade please don't leave me! Stay with me! I don't even know if you're with anyone but please don't leave me. I beg you. Please?"

I looked into her eyes and could see the terror in them. She was so afraid of being away from me again. My heart just broke.

"I'm not with anyone and if you'll let me, I'll never leave you again." I said as I squeezed her hand. She then threw her arms around me as tears once again came to eyes.

"Thank you!" She said, just before she released me.

Tori then walked up to the couch and picked her daughter up.

"I'm ready but, my girlfriend will be staying with me." Tori said taking my hand.

Just hearing her call me her girlfriend, I can't tell you how good that made me feel. For the first time in 9 years I felt like a human again. I smiled and gave an approving nod, which seemed to comfort her.

As we walked out Tori said to me. "They said my parents are flying in. Something about New York and San Francisco."

My stomach started to churn. "I hate to say this, but your parents are divorced."

She paused and looked at me with dismay. "What?"

"There's no other way to put this. After you disappeared, they started to fight more and more. About a year after you vanished, you dad discovered that your mom was having an affair with his partner Gary."

"I'll tell you in the ambulance, let's get you checked out." I said, urging her on.

Tori blankly nodded and we walked into an underground garage and go into the ambulance. Little Jade lay down on the gurney and fell asleep again. Tori sat next to me in the back with the paramedic.

"Your parents divorced right after your mom's affair was discovered." Jade said as she took Tori's hand.

"I hate Gary." Tori said quietly.

"He's your stepfather now." I said lowering my head.

Tori looked at me in shock. "My mom married Gary?"

I nodded. "Yes, he's now a detective in the San Francisco Police department. That's were your mom lives."

Tori looked sick. "And my dad."

"He moved to New York City and joined the NYPD, he's a police Captain now. His precinct is in the Bronx. He's married now too. The gal's name is Judy, she's a detective in Robbery/Homicide. She's young, only about 30. You have a baby brother now. Apparently she convinced him to have a child and you have a 4 year old brother named Joshua."

Tori looked like she'd been punched in the stomach. Her mouth just hung open as she digested the fact that her family was no more and she now had a brother.

"Trina?" She said after a few moments of stunned silence.

"Married to a very well off real estate developer, his name is Brian Borkowski. They live just outside of Chicago. She has two boys, ages, 2 and 4, named Chris and Adam. She doesn't work; she just spends her husband's money and raises the kids. They're happy I hear."

Tori made a small smile which faded quickly. "At least someone made it."

I pulled out my phone and texted Cat and Beck, the location of the hospital that we were going too.

"What about Cat, Beck, Andre and Robbie?" She asked.

I sighed. "Until Andre called me this morning, I hadn't spoken to any of them in at least 2 years. They all got sick of me. I drove them all away in any case. Andre is married to a girl named Emily, he's constantly in demand as a session player for various recording artists. They don't have any kids. Robbie is still single but is dating some chick from Argentina, he works with computer in some big company. Cat and Beck are married and have a daughter named Chloe. Beck is an actor and Cat is a set decorator."

Tori nodded as she took it all in and closed her eyes. She didn't look like she wanted to speak so I just held her hand. I had a million questions to ask but now didn't seem the time. Just from reading the expression on her face, the news of her parents divorce hit Tori hard. It's like waking up one day and finding out your family has been broken up and living all over the country.

Me, my head was still swimming. Even thought Tori has forgiven me, I still feel guilty as hell. I just kept thinking. "How to I explain my entire life to Tori. Oh Tori by the way, I'm an alcoholic actress who fucks any woman that will let me."

But Tori love's me still. I can't believe it, she still loves this fucked up mess of a person. I hardly feel worthy of it.

"Just hold me." Tori said softly, as she opened her eyes. There was a weary look in her eyes. I could see fear in them as well.

I put my arm around her and pulled her in close as she leaned her head on my shoulder.

We just sat there in silence as the ambulance went to the hospital. As we rode, my mind began to wonder what happened to her during those nine and a half years. Just the fact that she had a child told me she'd been raped.

It was then I realized it, there used to be a sparkle in Tori's eyes. I loved that sparkle in her brown orbs. It's gone now. Now all I see is fear and weariness. I hate the fact that the sparkle in her eyes is gone. I could feel the anger rising in me as I kept thinking one thought over and over again.

"What did he do to my Tori?"

**No One's POV**

The remainder of the ambulance ride went in silence. Tori quietly cried in Jade's arms as she mourned the loss of the life she had once known. All she ever wanted to do was escape back to the world she once knew. What Tori found, is that she escaped into a different world entirely.

Jade was there but there was a darker look in her eyes. She knew some of what happened to jade through various tabloid shows on TV. She even understood why Jade acted as she did. But until she saw Jade did she start to fathom the very real hell, Jade had been through.

They arrived at the hospital were a few police were waiting to guard them at the hospital. As they left the ambulance Jade could see that sun had just come up and off in the east the sun had just begun to peek over some trees off to the east.

Tori, still holding her sleeping daughter, paused and looked at the sun. An emotional look came to her face as tears began to flow.

"What's wrong?"

"It's the sun, I haven't seen it in 9 years." She said

Jade glanced at the sun, something she took completely for granted.

Jade just put her arms around Tori. "I'm sorry."

They moved to go into the hospital, but not before Jade told the officers to let in Tori's friend's and family. They were escorted through the emergency room up to an exam room on the 3rd floor where doctors began to examine both Tori and her daughter.

Jade sat on a chair in the corner, closely watching Tori as she was examined. It was when the doctor said, "Could you remove your shirt please" Did she feel a panic set in.

Jade saw the look as a sense of dread began to fill her.

As Tori removed her shirt, Jade could immediately see a criss cross series of what appeared to be whip marks, scars and old injuires. Most of them were on her back. Tori couldn't help lower her head in shame.

Jade almost in a trance, walked up and looked over the scars. She lightly touched a small scar that ran across Tori's left shoulder blade.

Tori opened her mouth to speak to Jade but nothing came out of it. Tori could only see a growing look of rage on the goth's face. Silently Jade's face began to turn red and distort as her hands began to tremble.

"It's OK Jade." Tori said to try to calm down Jade. But Jade was light-years beyond calm. It was bad enough he took her Tori, It was even worse that he violated her Tori but he tortured her Tori. It was right then and there, Jade finally snapped.

Right there in the exam room, 9 and a half years of frustration, rage, guilt and depression came spilling out of Jade in the form of a long blood curdling scream. She couldn't hold in the anger one more second as the dam that had been built up over the years to hold back her emotions, suddenly burst.

As she screamed Jade's hand's clenched in fists of rage. It was a horrifying sight to everyone present.

As the scream subsided, Jade sank to her knees and began to sob uncontrollably.

"Is she going to be alright mama?" Little Jade said.

Tori didn't answer as she rushed to Jade and threw her arms around the sobbing Goth. Jade said nothing but just sobbed and sobbed.

One of the doctors, rushed and began to examine Jade. "I think she's having a mini nervous breakdown. I'll get her a sedative and take her where she can rest."

Tori shook her head. "Give her a sedative but she stays with me, Understood!"

The doctor nodded and quickly got a sedative which she injected into Jade's arm. Jade didn't protest, but just kept crying.

After a few moments Jade's crying began to subside as she went limp in Tori's arms.

"This will put her to sleep for a little while. She'll be fine. I think it's just been too much for her. I would advise some counseling for her as well as you." The main doctor said.

"Tori!" A voice called out from the doorway.

Tori looked to see Cat and Beck standing in the doorway.

They both ran up to Tori who still had a limp Jade in her arms.

"What happened to Jade?" Beck asked.

Tori quickly threw on her shirt. "I have scars, when Jade saw them, she sort of broke down. They sedated her."

"Tori, Cat will stay with you. I'll Take Jade into the next room. I don't think it's being used."

"Just the next room, I don't want her far from me." Tori said, her voice twinged with fear. "Don't let them take her any farther than the next room, UNDERSTOOD!"

Beck nodded and then gave Tori a hug. "Thank Heaven's your safe." He then picked up Jade carried her out.

"My god Tori! Your safe." Cat said as she began to Cry. "We all thought we'd lost you." Cat then threw her arms around Tori and gave her bear like hug.

After yet another tearful reunion Tori smiled and said. "Cat I want you to meet someone." Tori then pointed to her daughter. "Cat, meet my daughter Jade. Jade, meet my friend Cat."

Cat looked at the little girl with a amazement. "We'll hello little Jade, I have a daughter about your age."

Tori went back to being examined while Cat sat there hand held her hand. She told that they have a 6 year old daughter named Chloe.

After a few minutes Tori asked. "Tell me about Jade. All I know is what I've seen on TV tabloid shows and the news." Seeing Jade's semi breakdown, only worried Tori about Jade more.

Cat sighed. "Jade was never able to get past your disappearance. It's hung like a stone around her neck ever since. In the last 9 years, she's not had any relationship last more than 3 months. She and I'm sorry to say it, slept around a lot and was very self destructive. Fortunately, when she's working she somehow manages to focus and then she thrives. Her career is going great. But things broke down between all of us and her. We just got tired of trying to help her and she did her best to push us away. I do need to tell you, she's an alcoholic. She's a high functioning one, but still an alcoholic. It all basically boils down to that the fact that she didn't know what happened to you, tortured her."

A tear fell from Tori's eye. "My poor Jade."

The doctor interjected at this point. "You and your daughter both seem to be in good health. You both need some sun and you're both a bit malnourished, but you're both fine. Unless you feel the need to stay, you're both free to go."

Tori then heard the door open and looked up to see her mom and Gary standing in the doorway.

**Thanks again, everyone. Let me know what you think of the story so far?**

**I'm not sure how realistic Jade's breakdown is but it made sense to me. Just seeing the scars on Tori's back, broke Jade as she now knew what happened To Tori.**

**Tori seems much better, but she does have issues. They're only starting to surface at this point.**


	4. Homecoming

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 4 – Homecoming**

**No One's POV**

There was a brief moment of tense silence as Tori eyed her mother and new "Stepfather," as they stood in the doorway. A second later Holly Vega rushed to her daughter as tears fell from her eyes.

"Tori!" She said as she threw her arms around Tori.

Tori felt 2 separate emotions all at the same time. Happiness that she was seeing her mother but at the same time a most distinct sense of betrayal. But for the moment Tori just pushed thoughts of Gary aside and hugged her mother.

But the bliss of the first hug in 9 years seemed to fade as soon as the hug broke. Tori gave Gary a rather intense look then gave the same look to her mother.

"Gary?" was all that Tori said with a look of bewilderment.

Tori's mother's mouth hung open for a moment as she tried to think of a response. In that time the entire room became somewhat tense.

Gary, sensing the tension wisely decided to excuse himself. "I think maybe it's best if I wait outside. It's good to see that you're ok Tori." Gary said with a nervous smile, before he left.

Holly looked to the now empty doorway for a moment and then back to her daughter. But before she could say anything she spotted little Jade standing a few feet away.

"Is that?"

The little girl moved to where Tori was sitting and put her arm around her.

"This is Jade, my daughter."

Momentarily forgetting the tension, Holly smiled at the little girl. "Hello, I'm your grandma Holly.'

"Why mom?" Tori said, sounding hurt.

Holly sighed, "Can we discuss this later, now is not the time."

"TIME…TIME…You want talk about time mother. I finally get out of that stupid fucking basement after 9 friggen years, just hoping to try and get my life back but guess what, my life is gone. Everything is upside down and backwards. You and dad are divorced and you're married to Gary. I have a 4 year old brother and Trina lives in Chicago. Not to mention Jade, my precious Jade, who is now sedated in the other room because she had a breakdown as a result of seeing my scars. She's the love of my life and she's a complete emotional wreck." Tori started to spew out in an angry tone of voice, almost uncontrollably.

Cat put a hand on Tori's shoulder. "Tori, calm down." She said softly.

Tori quivered for a moment as tears suddenly burst from her eyes. "I just want something to be the same, everything's changed. I want my life back."

Tori much like Jade only a short while previously, broke down and began to sob uncontrollably.

Little Jade put her arms around Tori and began to say. "It's alright mama."

Tori's mom just wrapped her arms around her now sobbing daughter.

"I need to be with Jade." Tori said through the tears. Cat nodded, then took tori and Little Jade by the hand and led them out. It was then, Tori's mom looked to the doctor.

"Just how is my daughter?"

He sighed. "Physically she's in fairly good shape. She's a bit underfed but that can be easily corrected. She had scars showing that she's been physically abused. None of them look too recent, but there are a good number of them. Mentally is the tricky part. She's starting to show signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I'm not a psychiatrist but it's a safe bet she has that. She will need counseling. She's been through a terrible ordeal. It will take some time for her to heal. From my observations, her friend Jade will as well. What they both need, besides counseling, is love and support."

It was heartbreaking for Holly, to think of all the things that had been done to her daughter. She knew she had to explain why things worked out the way it did.

"Can she go home?"

The doctor nodded. "I don't see any real need for her or her daughter to stay here. They just need to get counseling as soon as possible."

"Thank You."

The doctor smiled. "She will recover, just be patient."

Holly walked into the hallway where Gary was chatting with one of the police officers present. He walked over to Holly. "How is she?"

Holly put her head down and wiped a tear from her eye. "Physically she's fine but she's going to need help. The doctor said he thinks Tori, is suffering from PTSD. She's escaped but everything is different, it's obvious she's having trouble adjusting."

Gary nodded. "It's understandable."

"I'm going to go and check on Tori." Holly said.

Holly walked into the room where Jade and Tori was.

Sitting in a corner was Cat and Beck who where talking to little Jade. On a bed was Jade, who was still asleep. Spooning her was Tori.

Holly walked over to her daughter and put a hand on Tori's shoulder. "The doctor said you can go. I can drive you to Jade's house. I assume that's were you wanted to go. I've been there a few years back. It's quite nice."

Tori remained silent for a moment, "Not like I actually have any place to live." She said bitterly.

At this point Beck said to Cat, "Honey, why don't you stop at home and get those old clothes of Chloe's that we were giving to the salvation army. They don't fit Chloe anymore but some of them may fit little Jade here. I'm guessing the clothes she's wearing is all she has."

Tori sat up in bed and nodded. Though no longer sobbing, she looked very sad and depressed.

So the group left the hospital and drove to Jade's house. Tori Jade and Little jade all drove with Tori's mom and Gary. It was and awkward and silent car ride. Tori barely said a word to her mother or jade. The only person talking was little Jade, who was marveling at all the outside things she had never seen before. Jade slept the entire way home. Cat and Beck followed them in their car.

They arrived a short while later at Jade's home. It was a very large and modern looking house on a bluff overlooking the ocean. Tori couldn't help think it was a thousand times bigger than the apartment they used to live at.

"I'll get those clothes and be right back." Cat said as Beck got out of the car. Beck picked up the sleeping Jade and they all entered the home. Tori noticed that the interiors, floors ceilings, walls were almost all white. The furniture was almost all black. On the walls were movie posters for The Scissoring and other horror movies. Tori did recognize at least one picture she had bought for their apartment all those years ago on the wall.

Beck took Jade to her room while Tori found a guest bedroom for Little Jade to lie down. The little girl had been up most of the night and was very sleepy.

"Is this our new home mommy?" Little Jade asked as Tori tucked her in.

Tori nodded with a smile.

"Can we go outside?" It was such an innocent question but heartbreaking at the same time.

"Yes, we can anytime we want. We can teach you to swim and you can even go in the pool."

"I'm glad we can go outside." Little Jade said before she drifted off.

Tori departed the bedroom and looked around. Tori felt a sense of disappointment that there was no pictures of her on the walls.

"If Jade missed me so much, than where are the pictures of me."

It was when she looked in Jade's office did she get her answer. It was once a 2nd story guest bedroom which had been converted into an office. In typical Jade style half written scripts and stories were scattered all around the unkempt room. The computer at the desk was still on. Jade had been writing a horror story when she for some reason, walked away from the computer.

But it was one wall in particular which attracted Tori's attention. There was strange painting on the wall. On it was painted the words Tori remembered leaving in her last voice mail to Jade. Beneath that was the words "Why and Where" painted over and over behind them. Surrounding the painting was at least 15 pictures of Tori. Some of them were her by herself, some of them were with Jade. It looked very much like a shrine.

One other thing Tori noticed. Though the room was messy and cluttered, the pictures were all clean and dust free. Tori just stood there starring at the wall, thinking about what it did to Jade, not knowing Tori was alive.

"My poor Jade." Tori said tearfully.

Looking out a window she spotted a woman sunbathing on a chair by the pool.

Tori then walked out onto the patio where she spotted a young woman. Tori guessed she was probably no older than 21. She had long brown hair, and distinct Latina features. Tori could not help notice the resemblance between herself and the girl on the chair.

Tori silently walked up to the woman so her shadow covered the woman. A moment later the woman seemed to sense Tori's presence and opened her eyes.

"And who might you be?" Tori asked in a somewhat cold tone of voice.

The girl sat up and quickly put on a UCLA t shirt over her bathing suit and extended her hand. "I'm Gwen. I'm a friend of Jade's. There was a water main break in the building where my classes are and they all got canceled. I hoped to find Jade. She wasn't here so I thought I would just do some sunbathing. Is she here?"

Gwen suddenly felt very uncomfortable when Tori tensed up and clenched both of her fists.

"OH my god" The woman suddenly proclaimed. "You're Tori Vega. I love your music. I heard you disappeared or something. Wait didn't you used to date Jade? I mentioned you to her once and she wouldn't speak to me for a month. We don't have a relationship per say, it's just…"

"You're fuck buddies!" Tori said her voice going even colder.

Gwen suddenly seemed to become very nervous as she suddenly realized the look of murderous hatred Tori was giving her.

Gwen suddenly got up and grabbed her bag. "Uh…Maybe I should get going."

Tori put her arm around Gwen and gave her a chilling smile. "That's a very good idea Gwen."

"Are you going to hurt me?"

"Only if I ever find you talking to or with Jade ever again. The amusement park is now closed. The only person that will ever go on the rides again is me. So do yourself a favor, take your Barbie's and play somewhere else. Oh…the key she gave you. Give it to me." Tori said with a very chilling voice as she extended her hand.

The girl pulled out a key and put in Tori's hand. Tori pulled her arm from around the now terrified Gwen and intensified her murderous gaze.

"If I ever see you with Jade or so much as even talk to her, I'll cut off your head and use it as a hood ordainment. Understand?"

Gwen never answered; she was too busy fleeing the house in terror.

Tori re entered the house to find a very surprised, Beck, Holly and Gary.

"Who was that that just ran screaming from the house?" Beck asked.

"One of Jade's former fuck buddies. I'm tired and going to lie down with Jade." Tori said, suddenly looking tired.

Tori then walked to Jade's room and found the Goth still sleeping. Wanting to do nothing else in the world Tori slipped down to her underwear and crawled under the covers with Jade. Tears of Joy fell from her faces as she pulled Jade tightly into her arms.

"I never thought I'd be with you again." Tori said as she gently stroked Jade's hair.

Jade at this point started to wake up.

"Where am I?" She muttered.

"Exactly where you belong, in my arms." Tori said softly.

Jade moved so she was facing Tori, their bodies tightly pressed up against each other.

"I'm sorry for screaming at the hospital. When I thought of what he did to you. I…I.." Jade started to cry again.

"I'm with you now, thats all that matters. Oh by the way. I met Gwen."

Jade suddenly stiffened and put her head down in shame. "I'm sorry Tori I.."

Tori put a finger on Jade's mouth to silence her. "I said I forgive you. I just don't want to ever see or hear about any of them. Gwen won't ever come back. Apparently she didn't like the thought of me using her head as a hood ordainment. No more substitutes. You have the real thing now. "

Jade just put her forehead to Tori's and continued to cry. "I missed you so much Tori. I love you so much. I'm so happy. None of them meant anything. I just wanted you back."

"I love you too Jade." Tori said through her tears. "No more talking. Just sleep with me. I need to sleep in your arms. I've missed it so much."

Jade happily obliged and pulled Tori tightly in her arms. Within seconds Tori drifted off, as she had been up most of the night.

Jade couldn't believe she was here with Tori. Though she knew they both had a long road ahead of them. She was already feeling a craving for a drink creeping in. Not to mention she still felt guilty and had lots of anger that had built up over the years.

Tori was back, but Jade knew that Tori was hurting down deep inside. But for now, Jade just savored the sweet moment and for the first time in nine years fell asleep with Tori in her arms.

**This was a hard chapter for me to write for some reason. Not much was resolved between Tori and her mom but Tori is finally home and in Jade's arms. **


	5. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 5 – One step forward, two steps back.**

**No One's POV**

Jade woke from her nap on her side. Even before she opened her eyes, she could feel her face being touched. Her eye's snapped open to see Tori, now awake, touching her face. Not simply touching but, caressing Jade's cheek, running her fingers through Jade's hair, just touching slowly and tenderly.

Jade gazed into Tori's eyes as she silently just kept running her hands across her body. To Jade, it was like Tori just wanted to see if she was in fact real. As if she was an illusion that would vanish at any moment. For Tori it was just getting reacquainted with Jade's body. Just lying in bed, running her fingers across Jade's pale skin, Tori was briefly able to shut out the hell of the last nine years. It was a perfect, quiet, tender moment and Tori was beyond happy to be in it. In fact, it was the prospect of this moment that kept Tori going through some of her most hellish moments.

Jade sensed that saying anything would ruin the moment. There was a look of peace in Tori's eyes that Jade hadn't seen since Tori came back into her life. Jade also knew this moment wasn't about sex. It was about being together. For each of them it was needed therapy and a chance to reconnect. Mirroring Tori, Jade began to slowly touch and caress Tori's skin. Like Tori, in this quiet moment Jade was able to quiet the raging storm inside her.

At the moment it was paler than hers, which bothered Jade. Only now did she realized who much she missed Tori's tanned skin. For nearly a half an hour the pair silently gazed into each other's eyes and just touched each other. In the entire time, not a single word was spoken.

"I love you" Tori said quietly just before she sat up in bed.

"I love you too." Jade purred.

Tori then smiled and moved to the edge of the bed. "I need to see if Little Jade is up. " Tori then glanced at the alarm clock radio. "It's almost 1, I'm hungry and little Jade will as well."

"Got it." Jade said as she ran her hand through her hair.

After a moment's pause, Jade said in a rather seductive fashion. "I think tonight we can make up for lost time, or start too at least. If you're up to it."

"It's a date" Tori said with a warm smile.

Jade chuckled. "I'm surprised you haven't tied me to the bed to keep me from leaving it so you can have your way with me."

Instantly Tori stiffened and her warm smile suddenly vanished. Her face suddenly became cold and hard.

"That's not going to happen. EVER!" Tori suddenly snapped.

Jade suddenly realized she said something extremely stupid. Looking over at Tori who was now staring out the window, Jade could see Tori's hands were clenched into tight fists.

"Shit" Cursed Jade. " I'm sorry Tori." Jade said as she reached over to touch Tori on the shoulder in order to comfort her. But Tori simply flinched as Jade touched her. Jade paused as she glanced at the network of scars on Tori's back.

Jade's heart sank. "I'm so sorry baby. I didn't mean to dredge up a bad memory."

"Memories, as in more than one. I've been tied or chained to a bed on more than one occasion Jade. " Tori said, her voice filled with bitterness and anger. "That's how the scar got on my ankle. From the chain that kept me attached to the bed on occasion."

Jade slid up to right behind Tori and wanted to wrap her arms around her, but wasn't sure if she should. Before she could do anything Tori, got off the bed and quickly threw her clothes back on.

"I need to check on my daughter." Tori said as she left the room.

Jade just sat on the edge of the bed and quietly began to cry. Jade berated her self for being so stupid as to make a joke like that.

"I ruined a perfect moment." Jade said a she went into the bathroom to take a shower. She took a very quick shower and returned to the bedroom to get dressed. Though clean, Jade felt like utter shit for upsetting Tori. Tori's conscious must be littered with landmines of that sort, Jade thought.

"I should have known that one was there." Jade told herself.

Just as she finished getting dressed Tori walked into the room, but before she could say anything. Trina came running into the room.

"Tori!" She cried and grabbed her sister. Jade stood by and watched Tori and Trina hug. The presence of her sister, seemed to animate Tori. Jade however felt just as shitty as she did before.

"I Jumped on a plane as soon as I heard. My husband and the boys will be along tonight. My god Tori. I never thought I'd see you again." Trina said with genuine tears.

"It's good to see you too sis." Tori paused for a moment and her face became serious. "What the fuck happened with mom and dad. I get out and everything different. Their both married to other people, we have a brother. I don't understand."

Jade decided to let Tori have a moment with her sister and excused herself. She was feeling too depressed now to really want to talk anyway. "I'm going to put on my makeup. I'll be in the bathroom."

Trina sighed. "I was afraid you'd ask that. Sit down on the bed." Tori then sat down and Trina took her hand.

"Look, I'm sorry you have to digest this all at once. It must have been a shock."

Tori nodded as a sad look came to her eyes. "Everything's been a shock. I just want to find one thing that's the same.

"in a nutshell, they had drifted apart long before you vanished. She won't admit it, but I'm sure she was seeing Gary before you vanished. When you vanished, the stress on the marriage finally broke it. But don't blame yourself, It would have died anyway. You just made it happen sooner, which is probably for the best anyway."

Tori ran her hand through her hair. "It's all so much. I can't believe we have a brother and you two kid's."

Trina smiled. They all want to meet you and I want to meet little Jade."

"What's our step mom like? Isn't she nearly the same age as us."

"She's 11 months older than I am." Trina said with a chuckle. "She's ok. She's a cop like dad is, but when she's not working she's pretty laid back. Joshua, loves sponge bob and fire trucks. He's a great little kid. Back to mom for a second. I've made my peace with her, All I can recommend is to talk to her and try and make your's."

Meanwhile Jade finished in the bathroom and walked into the kitchen, where Beck, Cat, Holly and Gary were all taking.

"Hey I just remembered, my car is still at the river park police station."

Gary wanting to be useful, immediately stood up. "If someone wants to drive me there, I'll grab it. "

"I'll do that." Beck said standing up.

Jade handed Gary a set of keys and thanked them as they left. She then next went to a cabinet in the kitchen and removed a bottle of vodka. Ignoring the awkward and uneasy look's Holly and Cat were giving her, Jade took a tall glass and filled it 2/3's full then put some ice in it. She took a long drink and quietly walked onto the patio, still holding the glass.

A short while later Tori, Trina and little Jade, who was up from her nap, all walked in the kitchen. They all got to talking and Cat started to show all the stuff she had brought for little Jade.

"I even brought some coloring books and crayons. Chloe has more than she can even possibly use." Cat said as she handed the little girl a stack of coloring books and crayons. The little girl delightly started to color at the table.

About a 20 minutes later as the girls were all talking and looking at little Jade's new clothes, Jade quietly walked back into the kitchen.

Tori who was in decent sprits since the arrival of her sister, was too busy looking at Little Jade's new clothes to notice a very depressed looking Jade refill her glass with Vodka and walk back onto the patio.

**A shorter chapter today. I hope you like it. Jade stepped on a land mine and set Tori off. Now she's fallen into a depression as a result. **

**PTSD can be a very hard on a person and the effects long after the event that caused it is over. I know someone who had an uncle fight in Vietnam. The man's uncle fought, was discharged and returned home. Instead of going on with his life as he should have, he killed himself less than a year later. Sad but true. But now days they are better at diagnosing and treating PTSD. With time, hopefully those treatments will be more effective and less people will have to suffer. **

**Jade in a way is suffering from a form of PTSD herself. The loss of Tori was very traumatic for her. Just the fact that she didn't know if Tori was alive or dead ripped her apart inside. **


	6. A day in the life

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori?**

Chapter 6 – A day in the life.

**No One's POV**

Even as Beck left to drop Gary off at the police station, there already was a crowd of reporters and well wishers forming outside the gates to Jade's driveway. He dropped off Gary so he could retrieve Jade's car and then drove back to Jades. By the time he got back the crowd had grown to the size of a small army. Many of the reporters shouted questions about Tori as she approached the gate. Beck just ignored them and drove inside.

Entering the house he found Holly, Trina, Tori, Cat and Little Jade all sitting in the kitchen, talking and eating sandwiches.

"Where's Jade?" he asked.

Abruptly Tori stopped speaking and a look of panic briefly entered her eyes.

"She's out on the patio" Cat said as she looked out the window onto the patio. "But I don't see her out there anymore."

It was then Tori spotted the bottle of Vodka on counter and began to worry.

"Has she been drinking?" Tori asked quickly.

Both Cat and Tori's mom nodded.

"I'll be right back." She said, sounding worried.

Tori rushed out onto the patio which sat on a bluff overlooking the beach. Jade wasn't there but her shoes and socks were. Tori's heart began to race as she looked up and down the beach and could see no one. A sense of panic arose in Tori as she gazed down the beach again. Finally she spotted a solitary figure about 300 yards down the beach, walking along the water's edge.

Tori dashed down the flight of stairs onto the beach and ran towards the figure, hoping it was Jade. After running a short ways down the beach Tori could tell it was Jade. She was walking next to the water, letting the surf rush over her feet.

"Jade!" Tori cried out as she ran up.

Jade paused for a moment but, lowered her head and kept walking.

Tori was practically in tears as she made it up to Jade and grabbed her.

"Don't scare me like that, Please don't" Tori cried as she threw her arms around Jade. "I need to know where you are."

Tori let go of Jade and looked in the face. She looked sad and depressed.

"I'm sorry." Was all that Jade said.

"About what?"

Jade began to cry. "Everything? I just feel like I let you down. Not just earlier with my stupid Joke, but all together. Not to mention, as screwed up as I am I don't feel like I have the right to be screwed up. You're the one that was held in a basement, not me. I was making movies, appearing on the tonight show, going to Hollywood parties and sleeping with supermodels. I should be fine. But here I am, an alcoholic, sex addicted emotional wreck. I have no right to be that. I'm drunk now even; what good am I to you?"

By the end of the speech, Jade had broken down into deep sobs. Tori only know was fathoming the true deepness of the guilt that Jade had built up inside her.

Tori put her hands on Jade's cheeks and made the Goth look her in the eyes. "You never let me down. It was you that got me through all the hellish times. I knew if I survived I could be with you again. Not only that but when he was with me, I would imagine you in the corner. You would stand there and say things like "I love you Tori, You can do this. You're better than him. Stay strong for me. We'll be together again. Every time he was with me, you were there supporting me."

"I helped you?" Jade said, still sobbing.

"Yes you did baby and I need you now more than ever. I'm not nearly well put together as I appear to be. Over the years I learned to act very happy, even when all I wanted to do was crawl into a corner and die. I know you don't feel like you're helping me but you are. You love me and I need your love more than anything in the world. I know you didn't mean to upset me with that remark and I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm very sensitive about certain things and that's going to happen. I'm sorry. But you just being there helps me. I get afraid when I don't know where you are. You are my rock, my anchor and I need you. I know you missed me and I'll help you with your problems in any way I can. I don't blame you for anything. I love you."

Both stood there silent for a moment, as the ocean roared just behind them.

Jade then put her arms around Tori as the tears continued to fall. "I just missed you so much. So much it hurt and it hurt so bad. I did anything I could to kill the pain. I love you."

Jade then moved and pressed her lips against Tori's. The kiss quickly deepened, and the lovers were able to forget the pain for a few moments.

After the kiss broke Tori wiped the tears from Jade's eyes. "So no wandering off and making me scared?"

Jade nodded and then spoke. "I'm hiring bodyguards for you. If you leave the house without me, they'll go with you. No one is ever going to take you away from me again."

"or you from me." Tori said.

Tori then paused and looked towards the house in the distance. "I do need to ask. I love my daughter Jade, she's part of me she…"

Jade cut her off. "I'll treat her as if she were my own child. After all she is my namesake. It's goofy to say, but I love her already. We can make the spare bedroom her room. I can even have some playground equipment installed on the lawn next to the patio. She'll need clothes, toys, swim lessons and stuff be we can afford all that."

"I need stuff too." Tori remarked and pointed to the clothes she was wearing. "This is all I own."

Jade smirked. "Everything you owned is carefully packed in storage containers in my storeroom. I didn't throw anything out. What you're clothes don't fit, we can get new ones. Don't forget you have money yourself. When you vanished, the sales of your one album went crazy. You're dad managed your money while you were gone. You've got a nice little next egg."

"You kept everything?"

"Everything, including that Stupid N'Sync t shirt that didn't even fit you 9 years ago that you were so attached to."

"Thank you" Tori said with a smile. "Come on let's get back. I don't want the others to worry and Little Jade needs lunch."

Tori took Jade's hand and they walked along the beach in silence.

"You haven't asked me what it like yet?" Tori said quietly after a few minutes.

Jade bit her tongue. "I'm not sure if I should ask that. I didn't want to remind you of it. I figured you'd tell when you were ready."

Tori nodded after a moment spoke slowly as if to stress a point. "A convict's thoughts are no freer than he is: they come back to the same place, worry over the same thing continually."

Jade stopped and looked at Tori with a puzzled look "What?"

"It was you that kept my hope alive, it was the books that kept my sanity alive. That what I just said was a quote from probably the most important of them all."

"What book is that?"

Tori began to speak with a far away look in her eyes." Though he wasn't much of a reader. You'll have to excuse me if I not refer to him by name, I don't want to waste my breath saying it. There was a collection of books in 2 large book cases in the basement where I was kept. Some where his books from when he was a kid. Some where his grandfathers, he was a literature teacher, some were his brothers, some were his mothers and his fathers. I read every last one of them at least twice. But of all the books the one that saved me was "A day in the life of Ivan Denisovich" by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. I've read it dozens of times."

"I'm not familiar with the book, how could it save you?" Jade said as they started to walk again.

"I realized soon after I was taken that I needed to keep my mind going. So I began to read the books. That book was the 5th one I read. It's the account of one single day, in the life of a man who's been sentenced to hard labor in a soviet gulag in the 1940's. It's about how he survives in a Siberian prison. It taught me that one can survive in the harshest conditions. Now the basement wasn't a remote gulag but it was still a prison. It taught me the mindset that I needed to survive."

Jade just exhaled as she took in that thought.

"But he refused to knuckle under: he didn't put his three hundred grams on the dirty table, splashed all over, like the others, he put it on a rag he washed regularly." Tori said.

"Another quote from that book."

Tori nodded. "Yes, Its about keeping your self respect and refusing to give in. I read other books too. History books, books on structural engineering, romance novels, other classic works of literature, all kinds. He held my body, but when I read, my mind was free. I learned all I could from the books. It was freer than when I watched TV or listened radio. I was never much of a reader before, but my confinement changed that. I spent at least a half an hour every single day reading. Of course when Jade arrived, I read less, but I still read. I did other things, like watched TV and listen to music, I wrote music on a keyboard he got for me. I wrote lots of songs, enough for at least 10 albums, they are in a huge binder. I need to get that binder from his place somehow. But it was the books that kept me sane. "

"I'll get you any book you want."

"I want to keep reading. I think it will help with my adjustment to life now that I'm no longer a Zek"

Jade raised an eyebrow. "Zek?"

"It's a Russian slang term meaning an inmate at a forced labor camp. I wasn't cutting down trees or laying bricks, but I had to work in my own way." Tori said with a sigh.

Jade stopped and looked at her. "You're not a zek anymore, you never were. You're Tori Vega, pop star, talented musician, beautiful woman and the love of my life. Your strong as hell and pretty fucking smart. I'm in awe of you right now. Just how you survived. It just makes me love you more."

"Thank you. And you're Jade West, ultra talented Actress/writer/director and the love of my life. Who kept the home fires burning for me." Tori paused and squeezed Jade's hand. "We both have serious issues we need to face. But we're together and we're going to make it."

Jade said nothing but smiled instead.

Nothing more was said, until they got near the base of the bluff where Jade's house was on. As they approached Tori saw a single figure standing on the bluff above the beach. She recognized it anywhere.

"Daddy!" She cried out, happily as she ran up the stairs.

**I thought I would give a bit of insight on how exactly Tori made it through her confinement. She escaped using books. Not only that by learning all there was about them, it helped keep her self esteem up. **

**The book Tori describes, is quite real and very famous. It's considered a classic work of literature.**


	7. Getting to know the family again

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me. **

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 7 – Getting to know the family again.**

**No One's POV.**

Tori ran on up ahead of Jade up the stairs to the patio. As Jade reached the top of the stairs she could see Tori tearfully embracing her father who was standing by the pool.

"Daddy!" She cried into his shoulder.

It occurred to Jade at this point, that the last time she saw Mr. Vega was 2 years ago at the memorial service for Tori. One was held when she was declared legally dead. The tears that flowed from his eyes, were much happier than the last time.

For a few moments nothing was said at Tori and her father hugged each other. Jade looked over to the door way to the house and saw two more people. A brunette with short curly hair about her height and a small boy. Jade had met them once before at the memorial service but it was Mr. Vega's 2nd wife Judy and their son Joshua.

Jade couldn't quite get over the fact that Judy is only about a year and a half older than she was. But despite the age difference, Jade had heard they are very much in love.

"Thank god you're safe." He said through the tears.

After a moment they parted Tori looked at her father. "Jade told me what happened. I don't know what to say." Tori said.

David Vega looked sad for a moment. "It's over and done with." He said before brightening up. "But I want you to meet some people."

He gestured to Judy and Joshua who both came over.

"Is that my sister Tori?" The little boy said as she approached Tori and her dad.

"Yes that is Joshua." Judy said.

With a smile, David Vega introduced his wife and son. "Tori this is my wife Judy and our son Joshua."

Tori stood for a moment with an unreadable expression on her face as she seemed to study them for a moment.

Trying to make the best of the awkward moment, Judy extended her hand and smiled. "I'm so glad to finally be able to meet you. David was so excited when he heard you escaped. Joshua has wanted to meet his other big sister since he got the news."

Tori made an awkward smile and shook her stepmother hand. Jade couldn't tell what Tori was thinking. She didn't seem hostile towards her new stepmother, she just didn't seem to know what to make of her.

Tori then turned her attention to the 4 year old Joshua who was standing by her mother's side.

"I'm Joshua, I'm your brother." He said shyly as he extended his hand.

Tori who was always very good with children, kneeled down in front of Joshua, smiled and shook the little boys hand. "I'm Tori. I didn't even know I had a brother until today. How old are you?"

The boy proudly held up 4 fingers.

"Wow, you must be growing fast. I have a daughter just a bit older than you. That makes you her uncle. Her name is Jade." Tori said warmly.

The boy seemed to be confused. "You mean I'm an uncle, like my uncle Steve." He said to his mother.

Judy nodded. "That's right Josh, Since Tori is your sister and Jade is her daughter, you are Jade's uncle. Just like my brother Steve, is your uncle."

The prospect of being an uncle seemed to excite the boy who light up at the prospect. At this moment, Cat, and little Jade came out of the house.

Little Jade, who was holding a piece of paper in her hand, excitedly ran up to Tori. "Mama, look at the picture I colored."

The little girl handed Tori a picture of a puppy that had been colored green and purple. "That's very nice Jade. I have some people for you to meet."

"Who?" the little girl said.

Tori pointed to each of them as she introduced them. "This is my dad or to you Grandpa Vega, here is his wife Judy, and here is their son and my brother Joshua."

"Hello" Little Jade said.

Mr. Vega, already emotional, seemed to become just a bit more as he kneeled down in front of his granddaughter. "You look so much like your mother when she was young."

They all talked for a few more minutes when Joshua asked his mother if he could play outside, as he pointed to a large open section of grass and tree's next to the patio.

"Wanna play?" Joshua asked Little Jade.

Little Jade looked up at Tori as her face lit up. "Mommy, Can I actually play outside."

Tori looked a bit worried for a moment when Cat put her hand on Tori's shoulder. "I'll keep an eye on them. Beck's gone to pick up our daughter Chloe from school, so soon all three of them can play."

Tori nodded, then Joshua, Cat and little Jade all ran onto the grassy area. Jade watched in fasicination as her name sake Jade ran happily onto the grassy area. LJ as Jade like to think of her had been in a basement for years and being let out was a totally new experience.

Ignoring the adults talking, Jade watched as Cat, Joshua and LJ just chased each other in the grassy area. LJ was having a ball. Not to mention all her discoveries she found. Every few minutes LJ would run up to her mother with a new treasure she found. Amongst them was a smooth stone, a piece of bark, a leaf and a few other things.

One of the things LJ found, was an empty bag of Bibble that the wind had blown across the lawn. A rather disappointed looking Cat, made LJ throw the empty bag away.

A short while later Holly and Gary came out of the house. Jade guessed that they stayed in the house initially to give David and family a short bit to greet Tori.

As Holly and Gary walked up to Tori, David and Judy there was suddenly a very tense silence as Gary and David starred at each other.

"If any of you shoot each other, please do it outside. I just had the carpets shampooed." Jade said with a smirk. Jade's comment caught the other adults off guard and they all quickly glanced at her instead of starring at each other.

Tori instantly shot Jade a disapproving glare, which warmed Jade's heart immensely. Up to that moment, Jade hadn't any idea how much she missed the look Tori gave her when she was really annoyed.

Oddly and as Jade had planned, her comment seemed to break the tension and relax things a bit. David at that point gave his ex wife a hug and shook Gary's hand.

They all talked with Jade sitting in a chair several feet away. She was mostly just paying attention to Tori's apparent condition. Tori seemed happy and excited to see her family again but Jade worried that Tori may become overwhelmed by all the sudden attention.

Jade also kept and eye on LJ; partially out of concern for her well being and partially she enjoyed seeing the ultra-excited girl played. Granted Jade knew Cat was with her and Joshua but she still felt the need to keep an eye on the little one.

Jade didn't pay much attention to what was being said amongst the adults but just carefully watched Tori and her reactions. She seemed uneasy when talking to Gary, which was to be expected. Judy, made her a bit uneasy as well. But Jade figured that was the similarity in age. Jade had met Judy once before and found her to be rather laid back and easy going. She expected Tori and Judy to eventually get along.

Jade still noticed a good amount of tension between Tori and mother. It manifested itself in the rather short answers she would give her mother. Not to mention that fact that Tori rarely looked her in the eye. They mostly asked Tori about how she was doing now and what she planned to do. They all wisely avoided too many questions about her time in captivity.

"Hey Jade." Said a familiar voice from behind her.

Jade looked over to see Andre standing behind her.

"Sorry I hung up on you. I needed to get to Tori." Jade said with a shrug.

"I couldn't get here any earlier, how is she?" Andre said as he looked to Tori.

Jade bit her lip. "I'd like to say she's alright, but that would be a lie. She's messed up, granted she's doing a bang up job of covering it over. She's a better actress than I ever gave her credit."

"She will be better? Won't she?" Andre said with noticeable fear in his voice.

A look of fierce determination appeared on Jade's face. "She will be. I'll see to that."

"I'm sure you will. I'll say hello to her now." Andre said as he walked up to Tori and gave her a hug. Again there was another tearful reunion as Andre and Tori hugged. Jade just carefully watched from her deck chair several feet away.

For now Tori seemed ok. She was very emotional but Jade expected that. She was just looking for signs of stress or nervousness. Occasionally Tori during the conversation would glance over at Jade only to see the Goth watching her intently. That seemed to comfort the Latina as she kept talking to her family.

After a short while, Beck returned with His and Cat's daughter Chloe. After a quick introduction to Tori, the little girl joined Cat, Joshua and LJ who were all playing on the grass.

"Jade, why don't you come and join us?" Tori said eventually.

"Too busy trying to figure out how to get into that motherfuckers cell. Like that chick did in that movie Columbiana. Question is, do I kill him outright or make it look like a suicide." About a second later Jade regretted her tendency to like to shock people, considering the shocked looks of Tori and the three police officers that Jade quickly received.

"Uh..Nevermind. I think. I'll order all of us some pizza. That and I might just turn the hose on the paparazzi that are camped outside."

Jade quickly went inside and her father put her hand on Tori's shoulder. "Are you Ok? She didn't mean it."

Tori chuckled, "I'm fine, she's just being Jade. Though you're wrong. If Jade could, she'd gut him like a fish. If he's found innocent, he's a dead man." Tori said, as if she relished the thought.

An odd moment of awkward silence passed as the 3 cops looked at each other with a look of distinct discomfort.

The moment was broken by Andre, who changed the subject by saying Robbie couldn't make it but he sends is Love.

Jade went inside and ordered some pizza's for everyone to eat. Then she went into her storage room and with Beck's help pulled out all of the storage containers that had Tori's stuff. Normally Jade would get depressed just looking at the containers, but this was a happy occasion. Jade had them placed in the living room for Tori go through later.

The pizza arrived and everyone sat on the patio and talked. The children and Cat were still busy chasing each other and playing tag to join the adults. Tori, according to Jade's observations, seemed to hold up. Though as it got near 8 pm, Jade could see weariness creep into Tori's eyes. That and Jade noticed she slowly became more tense.

The first to leave was Cat, Beck and Chloe. They both had to work the next day and their daughter had pooped out after playing. They again gave Tori a big hug and left. Andre left the same time as they did, promising to help her get back into the music business when Tori was ready.

Next to leave was Tori's dad, Judy and Joshua, who also had a pooped out child to contend with. They were staying at a local hotel and said they would stop by tomorrow afternoon.

That left Gary and Tori's mom. As Tori came back into the living room there was another awkward moment of silence. Then all of us looked at LJ who had exhausted herself playing in the yard, sleeping on the couch.

"We'll we should be going. It looks like little Jade is tired out."

Tori stood up from the couch were she was sitting and nodded. It seemed to Jade that neither of Tori or her mom really knew what to say. There was a distance between them that everyone in the room seemed to sense that wouldn't be overcome easily.

"We're so glad you're ok Tori. We'll stop by tomorrow. Just let us know if you need anything in the mean time. Jade has our numbers." Gary said trying to be gracious.

Jade and Tori walked Gary and Tori's mom to the door where Tori gave her mom and awkward hug. Gary didn't even try to hug Tori and just extended his hand, which Tori shook.

As she was about to leave, Tori's mom gave Tori an emotional look. "I know we've got a lot to talk about, but I can't describe how good it is to have you back. I do love you Tori."

Tori smiled. "I love you too mom." She said quietly.

Tori watched her mom and stepdad walk to their rental car with an unreadable expression her face. It was when the door closed, that Tori let her façade of calm happiness drop.

Tori's posture seemed to slump as she quietly walked to the living room and sat down. Jade quickly kissed her on the forehead. "I'll put little Jade to bed. You just rest here for a few moments. I have some of those PJ's cat brought over already laid out."

Tori seemed to blankly nod and Jade scooped up her sleeping namesake off the couch. She then carried the girl into the bedroom. There Jade put the very sleep LJ into some PJ's and put the girl into bed where she drifted off almost instantly.

Jade walked back into the living room where Tori was starring the storage containers with her stuff and quietly crying.

**Jade's POV**

I quickly sat down next to Tori as she continued to cry. She immediately took my hand in hers.

I was tempted to ask "are you ok" but I already knew the answer to that question. It was no. After a moment Tori said in a low sad tone of voice.

"Almost 10 years of my life is gone, everybody's moved on. I'm not sure where I fit anymore. I was wonderful to see them but its all different now."

I put my arm around Tori and pulled her in tight to me. "I'll tell you where you fit, in my arms. You did nine and half years ago and you fit today. I may be messed up a bit myself but I will do everything in my power to help you. I love you Tori. That hasn't changed. I'm never going to leave you. Nor will I ever let anyone take you or your daughter away from me again."

Tori wiped her tears and sniffled. "Thank you. You don't know how much that means to me."

What came out of my mouth next, was said wasn't just to make Tori feel better. I said it because it wanted it more than anything in the world. I would have preferred a happier moment but I had waited too long to ask this question. I didn't want to waste another second.

"Marry me" I whispered in her ear.

She looked up at me with shock, her lips parted slightly.

I felt the need to explain my motivation a bit better. "Tori I love you, there is no one else I could ever love as much as you. I was destroyed when you were taken from me. Now you've been given back to me. I can't say how happy that makes me feel. I want to take care of you and be with you. I want to spend my life with you. I not only love you but I love your daughter. I want us to be a family. I know I'm kind of rambling but I mean every word. I need you Tori, as much as you need me. I want to make the bond between us permanent."

I had dared to let my emotions run away from me and as tears started to flow down my face. "Tori Vega, Love of my life, owner of my heart, mother of a beautiful girl that will hopefully call me mommy someday, will you please marry me?"

"YES!" Tori said as she threw her arms around me and cried.

She quickly sobbed and looked me in the eyes. "All those years I was alone in that basement. I hoped this moment would come. Where you would promise to be with me forever as my wife."

I could only smile. "No one will ever touch you again. I won't allow it."

"I know you'll protect me. Thank you." She whispered.

"You look a bit tired. Let's go to bed." I said wiping a tear from her eye.

Tori suddenly looked a bit nervous. "I'm not sure if I'm up…"

I put a finger on her lips to silence her. Don't feel bad about that, ever. When you're ready, we'll make love again. I'm just happy to be with you." I said with as much understanding and tenderness I could muster.

"I love you Jade."

"I love you Tori"

Half an hour later, we were in bed. Tori happily slipped herself into my arms and fell asleep within moments.

Since I had woken up early this morning I think I had cried at least a dozen times. I cried once more, as Tori and I lay there in the dark. I was overcome with emotion to have this beautiful girl sleeping in my arms once again. I had my heart back, I had my lover back, I had my best friend back, and it was the best feeling in the world. I cried in the dark and let the emotions pass, as I thought about what our future would hold.

It would be a long road to recovery for both of us; we had taken the first few steps. I vowed to be with her very step of the way and every step beyond that that we would ever take. She was mine again and she always would be from now on.

Knowing that, I quickly fell into a contented sleep.

**I took me a few longer days to write this chapter than normally. I do hope you like it, however. Jade not wanting to waste anymore time has proposed to Tori. **


	8. Night Terrors

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori?**

**Chapter 8 – Night Terrors.**

**No One's POV**

A cool ocean breeze blew the curtains of Jade's bedroom too and fro, through the open window. The dim sound of Jade's snoring was drowned out by the dull constant roar of the ocean only a hundred yards away.

It was night, well past midnight. Jade and Tori were both sound asleep. That night, Tori had fallen quickly asleep in Jade's arms. Hours later, Jade's arms were still tightly locked around the Latina. Subconsciously Jade didn't want to let Tori go, even while asleep.

Even though she was locked safely in Jade's embrace, Tori wasn't safe from what lurked deep down in her mind. The dream started off as nothing more than abstract lights and sounds, twirling though Tori's mind. The scene changed into the very bedroom she was sleeping in and in her dream Tori awoke.

She sat up in an empty bed in now cold bedroom, a low chill hung over the air. Before she could react, the nightmare reared it's ugly head. The door suddenly burst open as if kicked by great force. Tori looked with horror as she suddenly could see a familiar male form standing tall in the doorway.

In the real world, Tori began to stir and moan as the nightmare took shape.

Tori moved to the window to escape but and instant later two large hands grabbed her and started to drag her away.

"You're mine forever. I'll punish you for running from me, you can never run from me." The mans voice boomed as Tori was roughly dragged down the hallway. A moment later she found herself at the top of a set of stairs into a basement. But it was not the stairs to Jade's basement. It was the set of stairs to His basement.

"No, Please…" Tori pleaded in utter terror as she was suddenly pulled down the stairs.

Tori's moans and stirring became more pronounced, but not yet enough to wake the sleeping Jade.

Tori found her self dragged roughly down the stairs by the shadowed, but all to familiar figure.

"Back where belong bitch." The male voice said as the tossed her through the open doorway at the bottom of the stairs.

He walked in right after her and shut the metal door with a loud clang. To Tori's increasing horror, the door simply faded away leaving only a concrete wall.

"Please, no….I'm engaged…Jade where are you." Toir cried out in both her dream in real life.

Jade, disturbed by Tori's movement and talking, had begun to stir.

In the dream Tori was grabbed by the hair and dragged into her ultra tiny bedroom. The one that had been her's for over nine years. It was a metal bed with a very faded quilt. Tori was tossed on the bed and as she tried to struggle her clothes were violently ripped off her.

"Now I take, what's mine. What always was mine and always will be mine." He said a rough tone of voice.

The man kneeled above her on the bed; his cruel grey eyes mocked her fear. It was then Tori noticed the whip in his hand. It was when he sent the first flash of the whip across her breasts, Tori screamed.

It was a blood piercing scream that woke Jade instantly. Before Jade could do anything, Tori half awake, half asleep, screamed again and violently broke from Jade's grip.

Jade caught a glimpse of Tori's eyes in the dim moonlight. They were unknowing and full of absolute terror. Tori hopped backwards off the bed and landed in the corner where she continued to scream.

Jade quickly realized that Tori was in the grips of a full blown nightmare and was probably very disorientated. Jade rushed to Tori but was shoved backwards the second she reached the terrified Tori.

"Stay away from me, You'll never have me." Tori screamed. A moment later she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"JADE!"

Jade knew Tori was half out of her mind with fear and probably thought she was Him. In the dim light of the bedroom it was hard to make only the most basic details of a person. Jade rushed Tori again, but this time fought past Tori's flailing arms and pulled Tori tightly into her grip.

"Tori…Tori…Tori…It's me Jade, you're having a nightmare. Wake up." Jade said, her voice almost panic stricken. It hurt her beyond belief to see Tori so terrified.

"Mommy…Mommy" Came the voice of Little Jade from the doorway.

The little girl immediately rushed to Tori and began to stroke her back. Only then did Tori seemed to snap out of her trance.

Tears formed in the eyes of Tori's trembling form. "Jade…are you real? Please be real. I can't go back there again." She pleaded.

A lump formed in Jade's throat as she looked into Tori's eyes. It was then Jade realized just how much he had hurt Tori.

"I'm real baby. You're safe. Little Jade is here too." Jade said as she began to cry.

"It's ok Mama." The younger Jade said softly.

Tori at this point just slumped in Jade's arms and began to sob.

"My mama has nightmares sometimes. Are you going to make them go away?" The girl said as she continued to gently stroke Tori's back.

It was a heartbreaking question for Jade. As much as she wanted to, making Tori's PTSD go away wasn't horribly easy.

"I'll do everything I can. I'll take care of your mama. Do you need to be tucked back into bed?"

The little girl shook he head. "I can do it. Good night mama." LJ said as she kissed her mother on the head.

A moment later Jade was alone with a still sobbing Tori. She just rubbed Tori's back and gently rocked the distraught Latina.

"I just wanted to be with you and he raped me. I feel so dirty. How could you ever want to be with me." Tori eventually sobbed.

Jade pulled back and looked Tori right in the eyes. "Never ever say that Tori Vega! I love you and that's that. I don't care what he did to you or what you did to survive. I love you, I'm going to marry you, I'm going to spend my life with you and that's final. You excepted my proposal and no take backs."

Jade brushed some of Tori's hair that had fallen across her face, behind her ear. "Look, we can get through this together. You're going to have nightmares. I'm sorry. But I will be there every night to hold you and love you when it's done. We will get through this. I promise."

"Thank you Jade. I love you so much." Tori half whimpered as her tears finally came to halt.

Jade took Tori's hand and pulled her up from the floor. "Come on baby, Back to bed." Jade quickly slid into bed and extended her arms, which Tori climbed into.

The first thing that Jade noticed was the fact that Tori grabbed onto her even tighter than before. As if she was holding on for dear life.

"I'm always going to be here for you." Jade said softly. Tori said nothing in response but made a contented humming sound instead. A few moments later Jade could hear Tori's breathing deepen as she drifted off to sleep.

Jade was left with her thoughts again as she looked out the window. Jade knew there would be more nightmares and other PTSD related episodes. It pained Jade to know that she couldn't just make Tori's pain away. She reflected on the fact that once upon a time she would have relished seeing Tori in pain. Now she couldn't stand to see the love of her life in pain, as she was now.

"He's never going to hurt you or Little Jade again. No one will Tori, I take care of the people I love." Jade said to the sleeping Latina.

Before she finally drifted off herself, Jade vowed do to what ever she needed to do, to make Tori happy and well again.

**A bit of a shorter chapter but I thought I would show that Tori has nightmares as a result of her experience.**


	9. Big Jade, Little Jade

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, it's characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori?**

**Chapter 9 – Big Jade, Little Jade**

**No One's POV**

A sudden shift in the bed woke Jade from a peaceful sleep. Opening her eyes, Jade could see it was morning. She suddenly became aware that Tori was now sitting up in bed.

"Mama…I'm hungry." Said LJ, who was standing next to the bed.

"Ok princess I'll..." Tori started to say before Jade cut her off.

"Don't move Vega. You need to rest. I'll feed the child." Jade said sleepily

"She has a name you know."

Jade glanced at the clock then back to Tori, as a scowl formed on her face. "It's not even 7:30 and I've hadn't had my coffee yet. Cut me some slack here."

"Then why are you doing it, if you're so crabby and tired?"

Jade slid off the bed and pulled some sweats out of a dresser. "Because against my better judgment, I happen to fall in love with you some 12 years ago and I'm sure feeding small children is buried somewhere in the fine print. I really should have read that first."

Tori laughed and lay back down. "You're such a romantic."

Jade, as she was about to leave the room, gave Tori a concerned look. "Are you going to be ok, sleeping by yourself for a bit?"

Tori half smiled. "I'll be ok. Just don't go anywhere."

Jade huffed in mock annoyance. "So much for breakfast at Hilltoppers."

"Hilltoppers?" Tori said with a curious look.

"It's a strip joint on Pico, they are the only one in town open at 6 AM. They have killer breakfast menu. Not to mention Clarissa with the big…." Jade suddenly became aware of growing look of annoyance on Tori's face. "I probably should stop talking now, shouldn't I?" Jade said.

"You really should." Tori said quickly.

"What's a strip joint?" Little Jade asked with a look of innocence.

Jade suddenly put on a happy excited face. "Hey Little Jade, how about scrambled eggs and bacon?"

Fortunately for Jade, the child immediately forgot her strip joint query and yelled. "Yay."

"Come on Little one, I'll make you breakfast like I do for all my…guests." Jade said as she walked down the corridor.

Just as she said it, Jade could hear Tori grunt in displeasure at Jade's off hand reference to her previous overnight guest's.

Jade just smirked and took her namesake downstairs.

As they walked into the kitchen, Jade pointed to a chair at the table. "Have a seat, while I make you some breakfast."

As Jade got the stuff out and began to cook she started to talk to Little Jade. "First is it Ok if I call you LJ which would be short for Little Jade?"

The little girl nodded.

"Good. Since you're going to be staying her at my house we have some rules. First. I don't want to see you on the patio without an adult. We have a pool and I'm sure you don't know how to swim. That's a bad combination."

"OK" LJ said.

"Second, the same applies for the beach and the ocean. You don't go there without an adult. Third, the door on your right at the top of the stairs is my office. Stay out of it. Am I being clear?"

"Yes Jade."

"I'm sure you're mama will add more rules but these are mine. One more rule. If the door to your mother and my bedroom is closed, ALWAYS knock first."

Jade dreaded the question she knew would come.

"Why?"

Jade suddenly realized she was sounding very much like her own mother, causing her to shudder. "Because we might be doing special adult mommy things and you can't just barge into the middle of it. So always knock."

Jade mentally slapped herself on the forehead, for giving probably the dumbest answer ever. "I'm a friggen writer and all I can think of is special adult mommy things" Jade thought to herself, with dismay.

As she cooked breakfast, Jade made herself some coffee. The first sips of the brew, made her feel much better.

"Can I play outside again today?" LJ asked.

Jade nodded. "Sure"

"I like it when I can play outside."

Jade gave LJ a rather puzzled look. "I didn't think you'd ever been outside before."

"My daddy, would take me to the park sometimes if my mommy was very good and did special things for him. If she was real nice to him. It wasn't very often that I got to go outside. He would only take me when there was no one else in the park."

It was said so innocently, that was what burned Jade most. She clenched her fists and silently cursed that man. Jade realized that Tori must have done what ever she needed to do to try and give LJ a somewhat normal life. By sacrificing herself just so her daughter could play outside.

"Hijo de Puta" Jade cursed under her breath.

Jade then looked at LJ. "You'll be playing outside a lot more. Nobody will have to do any special things to make that happen. Children should be able to play outside. It's not right to keep people locked up like that."

"That's why my mommy and I ran away. My daddy was mean to my mommy."

Jade paused for a moment as she pushed some egg's onto a plate. "You don't need to worry about him ever again. I'll take care of you and you're mommy."

A moment later Jade put down a plate of Eggs, bacon, toast and milk in front of LJ. Jade refilled her cup of coffee and sat down at the table with LJ.

"Another reason I let your mama sleep is that I thought we should talk." Jade said as she took a sip of her coffee. "I asked your mama to marry me last night and she said yes. Do you know that that means?"

LJ took a drink of her milk. "I think so. You and my mommy are going to be together all the time and have babies. I know my mommy loves you. She missed you."

"I missed her too. I love her vary much."

"Does that mean you're going to be my mommy too Jade?" LJ said, suddenly lighting up.

"Are you cool with that?"

The girl happily nodded. "I get to have two mommies" LJ happily squealed.

After a moment she clamed down. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Did you pour coffee on my mommies head? That wasn't nice."

Jade lowered her head and grunted. "I'm never going to live that down. Of all the things Vega could say about me, my talent, my beauty, the fact that I'm great in...she goes with Jade poured coffee on my head." Jade quickly muttered to herself.

Jade huffed. "Yes I poured coffee on her head. She was rubbing my boyfriend."

"She only was cleaning up the coffee." LJ said defensively.

"I know that now." Jade said, hating to continually have to defend herself against that.

LJ thought for a moment. "But didn't you love her? How come you had a boyfriend. Didn't you love my mommy"

Oddly, Jade found that question rather sobering. She bit her lip for a moment as she thought of the slow death of her and Beck's relationship.

"I was seeing someone else at the time. I had just met your mother. I didn't realize how special she was at that point." Jade said, letting some regret fill her voice.

"Did you love that other person Jade?"

"Yes, but that wasn't meant to last. We weren't meant for each other. What we had faded. He found the person he was meant for and I found you're mother. "

LJ finished off her toast and smiled. "Is that when you fell in love with my mommy."

Jade chuckled. "It wasn't that easy. I didn't like her at first. I was jealous of her talent and beauty. I felt an attraction to her and it was new to me. I thought I was meant to be with a man and she brought up things in me that I never knew existed."

"Were you scared?"

"Yeah. She made me feel scared and that was another reason I wasn't nice to her. That and I was afraid she wouldn't feel the same feelings that I did."

LJ tilted he head slightly. "But my mommy loves you."

Jade smiled. "She did from the moment she first saw me. One day we were both working on project in the black box theatre.

**Flashback.**

The Blackbox theatre was empty, except for Jade and Tori. The pair was standing on stage holding scripts.

"Vega, you're acting is too stiff. You're character is supposed to like mine. Why can't you act that way." Jade said with a scowl.

"You don't make it easy to like you Jade." Tori said putting her hands on her hips.

Jade smirked and leaned close to Tori. "You're not supposed to like me. You're supposed to like Brian, the person I play. That's why it's called acting. You've heard of acting haven't you?" Jade said, her voice full of sarcasm.

Tori stood up tall and took a deep breath. "You know what Jade. I'm just going to say it and you can do what you want with this info. I do like you Jade."

Jade huffed. "I know that. You've tried to be my friend from day one, I'm not interested."

"Would you be interested in a date then?" Tori said, looking oddly confident.

Jade who had begun to turn away froze and looked at Tori, slowly. "Did you say date?"

Tori rolled her eyes. "No I said pineapple. Of course I said date. I want to date you Jade."

Jade's face seemed to turn red and she quickly got into Tori's face. "You seriously want to date me?"

Tori started to shake, expecting to be destroyed at any minute. "Yes…Yes. I like you and want to date you." She quickly stammered.

Jade quietly starred into Tori's eyes in an attempt to determine if Tori was being honest. Only when she was fully sure, did Jade crack open the door slightly.

"Are you willing to spend money on me and to show me a good time." Jade said quickly.

Tori's mouth opened in shock, not quite expecting anything remotely close to a yes. After a moment Jade smirked, put her finger under Tori's chin and pushed her mouth shut.

A smug look appeared on Jade's face. "You'll catch less flies that way Vega. I'll be generous and take your look of shock and horror as a yes. Pick me up at 7 on Friday. Nothing less than a 3 star restaurant please."

"You…You…You like me back."

Jade put a finger to her chin, tilted her head and appeared to think. "Hmmm….I just accepted your request for a date, nor did I punch you in the face. That would probably mean I don't totally hate you now would it?

"You like me back" Tori said, still looking very stunned.

Jade quickly rolled her eyes. "Holy Cow Vega, you make Cat look like a genius sometimes. Of course I like you."

Tori quickly jumped for joy. "Jade actually likes me!"

"Vega!" Jade barked. "Be all giddy and happy about the fact that I actually like you later. If I get an F on this project for Sikowitz, cause you're all dreamy, I'll really not like you. And you don't want to go there. So now can you try and pretend that you actually like my character?

"OK"

**End flashback.**

"So that's how you're mommy and I started off. We had our first date at a place seafood place on the ocean called Michaels. Tori was so nervous, I could tell she wanted everything to go right."

"Did everything go right?"

"No, my fish was overcooked and the waiter was an idiot. Walking afterward, I stepped in some dog shit that some person neglected to pick up" Jade paused for a moment with a happy smile on her face. "She tried to keep on a happy face, to mask her disappointment that things hadn't gone well."

The little girl frowned. "I'm not supposed to say shit. I'm sorry your date went bad."

Jade smirked. "It didn't go bad. I just liked spending time with Tori. I didn't even wait until we got back to my house. As soon as we got in the car I leaned over and kissed her for the very first time. I said, thanks for a wonderful evening. She looked at me with surprise and said. But nothing went well. I smiled and said. Your date kissed you and wants to go out with you again because she likes spending time with you. Everything went just fine."

"That's a nice story"

"Thank you. I knew then that I was in love with her. I just let myself feel what I had been holding back." Jade stood up. Well you're done eating. Why don't we get some cartoons on for you so I can get some stuff done. I have about a hundred phone calls to make."

Jade took LJ into the TV room and put on Disney for the little girl. LJ sat on the couch transfixed with Mickey Mouse on screen. "Hey LJ, I'll be in the kitchen doing some stuff on my laptop and using the phone. Just give me a holler if you need anything."

"What are you doing?"

Jade smirked. "My future wife and her daughter need to be made to feel at home. I have some things to buy for the house and other arrangements to be made. You're mom needs a piano and you want a swing set right?"

LJ's eye's lit up. "Oh god yes."

"Consider it done." Jade said with a warm smile.

"Thank you mommy"

Jade's couldn't help but widen her smile. She never thought she'd like being called that. When she did, she loved it.

**Lot's of intense stuff the last few chapters. So this one was a bit of a lighter one. Some Little Jade, Big Jade bonding time and a nice flashback. **

**Translation – Hijo De Puta = Son of a Bitch**


	10. Just Us

**Disclaimer: The show victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 10 – Just us.**

**No one's pov**

Tori managed to fall back asleep after Jade left. Her mind was still spinning from all the revelations about everyone's lives that she had been told. So it took her a bit of time, but she finally managed to drift off. She did so while clutching Jade's pillow tightly against her.

It was just after 12 noon when she had woke up. Tori liked hearing the roar of the ocean upon waking up. It was so different that that soundproof, Tomb-like basement. She sat up in bed and paused as a soft breeze blew in from the window. She slipped out of bed and walked to the window. Just having a window was a wonderful experience.

She stood and watched over the beach below the bluff. It was a private beach so it was mostly deserted, save for a couple of teenagers playing Frisbee down the beach. It looked very idyllic. Tori was still very tense and nervous deep down, despite the serene ocean front view. She also felt guilty and embarrassed about the nightmare that she had. It was a bit chilly so she rummaged through Jade's dresser and pulled out a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. The logo on the sweatshirt made her frown, but she put it on anyway.

She went downstairs and found her daughter Jade, watching a Bugs bunny cartoon on the TV.

"Hi Mommy" The little girl squealed as she hopped off the couch and ran to hug Tori.

"What are you doing princess?"

LJ pointed to the TV excitedly. "Mommy Jade got me some cartoons. I like the road runner and coyote ones best."

Tori kneeled down in front of her daughter. "You called her mommy Jade?"

"She's going to marry you and be my new mommy? I get to have two mommies."

Tori couldn't help but smile at her child's enthusiasm. "You're ok with Jade being your mommy?

"She's getting me a swingset." LJ said pointing out the window to some men working on the lawn.

"That's really nice but I hope you like Jade for more than a swing set." Tori said with a bit of worry.

LJ seemed to perk up. "I like my new mommy. She's nice to me. You're going to marry her and give me a baby sister or brother."

Tori hadn't quite thought that far ahead, but the prospect was a happy one to her. Tori gave her daughter a quick smile. "Well, one thing at a time princess. I think I'll have lunch first. Where's Jade?"

"She's in the kitchen. She's been on the phone all morning."

"Ok princess. I'll get you some lunch in a bit." Tori said before she left.

Tori walked into the large kitchen and at the far end sitting at the table was Jade. Her laptop was on and some papers and notes were scattered all around it.

"So she'll be here on next Thursday then, good. Thanks Shelly. I'll see you in a while. Thanks." Jade said as she hung up the phone.

Before Jade could say anything Tori pointed to the Chi Omega Sorority sweatshirt she was now wearing.

"I didn't know you attended the Chi Omega sorority?" Tori said with an overly sweet, but fake, smile.

Jade cringed slightly, but said nothing, as a look of guilt crept into her eyes.

The sweet smile on Tori's face quickly vanished. "What was her name?"

"Does it matter Tori? She was 3 years ago."

A genuine smile appeared on her face as her hand cupped Jade's cheek. "I do forgive you baby, but I get a little crazy when I see souvenirs of them lying around. You're mine now and I'm just a bit more possessive than I used to be. After today I don't ever want to see this sweatshirt again."

Jade seemed to shink in her chair for a moment and Tori at that point had let her jealousy get away from her. She quickly sat in a chair and covered her face. "I'm sorry Jade. At times…I don't even feel like myself anymore. I could have just not worn the shirt and politely asked you to get rid of it. But I just had to rub it in your face. Jade I…."

Jade just stood up, walked over to Tori and kneeled in front of her. "I love you Tori Vega and only you. I am yours forever. I understand. Usually I'm the jealous one. So I understand where you're coming from. So if it helps to deal with it than let me have it."

"Thank You." Tori said quietly, but momentarily after, Tori's spirits seemed to sag a bit. "Maybe someday I'll be the woman you fell in love with again. I'm not really sure I am, right now."

A single tear ran down Tori's left cheek. "I know you miss her, I do too"

Jade stood up and pulled Tori up into her arms. For at least a minute Jade silently held Tori in her arms.

Finally Jade whispered into Tori's ear. "You are Tori Vega. You are still the most annoying, frustrating, beautiful, wonderful woman in the world. I love you. The old you, the current you. You're still Tori Vega and I can't live without you."

Jade had said she couldn't live without Tori, knowing it was the absolute truth. The last nine and a half years had taught her that, rather painfully. Jade said nothing more and continued to hold Tori for a few more moments, finally breaking hug with a kiss.

Tori then looked out the window to the men working in the yard. "LJ said something about a swingset."

Jade smirked and sat down. "Not a mere swing set. It's pretty much an entire jungle gym complete with fort." Tori sat down, and pulled up her chair next to Jade as she glanced at Jade's notes.

"How come it came here so fast? Don't you need to order those or something. We just got here yesterday."

"Normally there is a month wait, but with an extra 10 grand, they'll set one up right away. I love to threaten people, but sometimes it's much easier if you simply pay them a lot of extra money."

Tori watched again, as the workmen were setting up the very elaborate playground equipment. She seemed at a loss for words for a moment. "I…I..don't know what to say."

"Try thank you. That might help." Jade said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "But don't thank me yet. I've been on the phone all dam morning. Because you don't have any agent or lawyers, everyone is contacting mine. My poor assistant shelly has been bombed with interview requests all dam morning."

"I'm sorry."

Jade glanced down at a pad of paper where she had some notes written. "First, your old lawyers called saying they will represent you again. I assumed you would so I scheduled a time on Thursday for them to come over. They said you'll need to do some stuff to get yourself legally alive again. Since you were declared legally dead 2 years ago. That and you need to get LJ a proper birth certificate and social security number. The lawyers will help with all of that."

"I'm dead?"

Jade shook her head and handed her a sheet of paper. "Here's your death certificate " Tori glanced at it and shuddered, before putting it down.. "On the subject of LJ, I have scheduled private swim lessons for her twice a week. We have a pool and an ocean and LJ doesn't know how to swim. That's a bad combination. Cat and Beck's daughter Chloe, goes to a nice private school. I'm having them send some info. In the mean time I've hired an expert to assess her educational level and to determine if she needs tutoring if any."

Jade just kept rattling on. "Dressers for you and LJ should be delivered this afternoon. I'm having a decorator re do the spare bedroom where LJ is sleeping into a proper room for her. Paint he walls a disgusting shade of pink and put girly things on the wall, that sort of thing. She'll consult with you and LJ. I tried to get the Steinway Piano delivered today, but the bastards wouldn't budge. So you'll have to do without until next Tuesday. Your agent called my agent and wants to represent you again. He gave me his number for you to call."

Tori just stood there listening to all the details and things that Jade had arranged with amazement.

"I've gotten a good list of therapists that deal with the aftermath of sexual assault. I assumed you wanted a female one, so I got a list of several that were highly recommended. You're new phone will arrive this afternoon. I'm sorry, but I'm putting a tracking thing on that. I want to know where you are. You're new laptop should also arrive this afternoon, I bought the best one there was. Santa's coming a bit early this year, my assistant currently buying out the toy section at the local Target. The toys will arrive a bit later. I already had some DVD's brought over for LJ to watch. Most of what I have for DVD's Horror movies and Lesbian Porn."

"Are there any Lesbian porn horror movies?" Tori just had to ask that.

Jade smirked. "Those are my favorite ones."

A suspicious look grew on Tori's face. "Just how much Lesbian porn to do you have anyway?"

Jade turned slightly red and looked down at her pad of paper. "Between 2 to 3 hundred DVD's" Jade intentionally and softly mumbled the word hundred.

Tori quickly raised an eye brow. "Did you say hundred Jade?"

Jade turned and even deeper shade of red. "Yes? I'll get rid of them."

Tori looked puzzled. "At which point did I say get rid of them?"

"You didn't, I just assumed…" Jade stammered.

The corner of Tori's mouth curved into a smile. "You assumed wrong Jade. I'll have to review each and every one of them, possibly more than once to determine if they have artistic merit and thus worthy of keeping in our home."

Jade turned slightly less red. "I'd be happy to review each and every one of them with you. When you're up to the task. In the mean time I'll see that they are safely locked up."

Tori nodded with a knowing smile. "Very good."

"Oh I laid out some basic rules for LJ. I told her that she was not to be in the ocean, on the beach or on the patio with out and adult. I told her my office was off limits and if the door was closed to our room. She was to knock first."

Tori now gave Jade a curious look. "Did she ask why she had to knock first?"

Jade nodded.

Tori smiled again. "And what pray tell, was your answer?"

Some of the redness returned to Jade's face. "That we'd be doing special adult mommy things and you can't interrupt them."

Tori smirked "How thoughtful. So what are special adult mommy things anyway?"

Jade paused for a moment, as the look of playful embarrassment on her face faded away. It was replaced by one of a longing sadness. She then lifted her hand and put it into Tori's.

Jade looked at Tori, but at the same time seemed to be looking at something far off in the distance. "Something I missed very badly. Not just the sex, but us. Those intimate moments where the world would fade away and it would be just us. I'm not trying to pressure you, don't get me wrong Tori. Only in the last day and a half did I realize how much you meant to me. I've been dead the last 9 and a half years and I never even knew it."

"I missed us too." Tori said tenderly as she looked into Jade's eyes. "We'll be closing that bedroom door soon enough and once again it will be, just us."

**Jade has spent most of her morning making various arrangements to get Tori and LJ back on track. Both of them are still adjusting to being around each other again, hitting some emotional bumps along the way.**

**But they've taken a few more steps down the road to recovery.**


	11. Wounded

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 11 – Wounded**

**No one's POV**

Jade took Tori's hand. "Come on I want to show you something."

"Jade, you've done so much for me. Please stop." Tori half whined.

Jade ignored Tori's request and took her to the front door. Once outside she led the confused Latina around to the side where the 5 car garage was located. Jade led Tori to the farthest door which was open.

"Am I getting a car?" Tori asked, knowing jade probably already bought her one.

Upon entering the garage, Tori spotted something she never expected to see again. It was her green Honda accord. Tori just starred at the vehicle which was sitting there with its hood open.

"My Car!"

"I kept you're car. I even had it prepped for long term storage. Had the fluid's drained and put on blocks. But today I'm having it restored to driving condition."

At this point an older gentleman slid out from under the car and looked at Jade. "Miss Jade" the man said in a polish accent. "I'm just checking things out, the car should be drivable very soon."

Jade smiled. "Tori, this is Alexander my car guy. He's the best mechanic in LA."

Tori nodded and said hello to the man, before he slid back under the car.

"Of course if you want to drive my Ferrari, Porsche or Lexus go ahead but I wanted you to have your car back. " Jade said plainly.

"You really did keep everything of mine didn't you." Tori said with some amazement.

"Absolutely Everything" Jade said quietly, before taking Tori back into the house.

Upon getting back into the house, Tori heated up some of the leftover pizza for lunch. LJ happily devoured her heated up pizza as she watched cartoons. Tori and jade sat in the kitchen and reviewed the choices of therapists.

Immediately after lunch Tori's mom Holly, arrived.

"Where's Gary?" Tori said upon noticing he wasn't there.

"Gary is stopping by his old police station and seeing some friends. He also wanted to talk to the detectives in your case to learn a bit more about the suspect and the case. He also thought it might be best if you and I had a chance to talk."

Jade who was standing several feet back, decided to give Tori and her mom a bit of time to talk.

"Vega, I'm going to show Little Jade the beach. We'll be gone for a short bit. Are you going to be ok?" Jade asked.

"I'll be fine. don't be gone too long please."

Jade walked into the TV room and looked at LJ. "Hey Kiddo, do you want to walk along the beach with me. I'll even let you put your toes in the water. There shouldn't be too many sharks today. They can come up right on the sand you know."

LJ's eyes opened wide "Sharks. You promise they won't get me."

Tori who had overheard the conversation immediately called out "JADE stop that!"

Little Jade ran into the hallway. "I wasn't doing anything mommy."

Tori smiled at her daughter. "I wasn't yelling at you honey. I was yelling at Big Jade."

"Was she being naughty mommy?"

"Yes." Tori responded.

Jade came into the hallway with a smirk on her face, which vanished upon seeing the glare she received from Tori. "I'm kidding you little one. Come on let's go."

"Yay, the beach. Come on mommy Jade" The little girl squealed as she ran off to the door, with Jade following close behind.

"She's calling Jade mommy now?" Holly said with a smile. "I'm glad she's connecting with Jade."

A warm smile came to Tori's face. "I'm glad too. That means a lot to me. Considering that she asked me to marry her last night."

A look of total surprise came to Hollys' face. "My god she asked you. Did you say yes."

"Of course I said yes. She love's me and wants to spend her life with me. I want the same."

Holly quickly gave her daughter a slightly awkward hug. "I'm so happy for you. Just let me know if you need any help in planning the wedding."

Tori nodded. "Ok, thank you."

Tori motioned to the living room. "Would you like to help me go through my things? Jade had all the storage tubs brought up."

"Sure"

As they walked into the living room where all the storage tubs were stacked in the corner, Holly noticed the men outside.

"Oh..The men outside. Jade is having a swingset installed for Little Jade." Tori answered quickly.

"That's so very nice."

"Yeah…Jade's been on the phone all morning making various arrangements for me. She's having a piano delivered for me."

Holly nodded, walked to a container and removed the lid. "She wouldn't let us pack your things away for at least a year. When we did, she couldn't even do it. She tired but quickly fell apart. Trina and I did it. She did insist that absolutely everything be saved and that she was to hold onto all of your stuff."

Holly thought for a moment. "For months after you disappeared she would continue to buy the food you liked. You drank skim milk which Jade hated. But she always had a gallon in the fridge. She'd never drink it. Jade would leave it there until it spoiled. When it would spoil, she'd just toss it out and buy another one."

Tori sighed and sat on the couch. "How was she, really?"

Holly came and sat down next to Tori. "Jade took it very badly. When you didn't come home that night, she was a total wreck. She cried for days. As I said, she refused to let anyone touch any of your things. It was only after a year that Trina finally convinced her to put your stuff away and that was only after…" Holly quickly cut herself off and tried to change the subject.

"But Jade's fine now. Let's go through your clothes first." Holly said as she tried to get off the couch.

Tori grabbed her mother's wrist with a suspicious look in her eye. "What happened mom?"

Holly started to stammer. "I shouldn't really be the one to tell you..umm"

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Tori said getting angry.

Holly sat back down, closed her eyes as a sad look came to her face. "On the first anniversary of your disappearance, Jade tried to kill herself. She had been obsessed with trying to find you. Just driving around looking for you, was one thing she'd do for hours on end. She kept track of all the leads. She wasn't taking care of herself and already had developed a drinking problem at that point."

Tori put a hand over her mouth as a single tear fell from her eye.

"How did it happen?"

"On the one year anniversary of your disappearance, she swallowed a whole bottle of pain killers and a entire bottle of Jack Daniels. Trina had been checking on her on a regular basis. She had been there earlier that day. Jade said she was fine. A little while later Trina had this feeling that Jade had lied to her. She was of course a great actress.

**Flashback. **

Jade had said she was fine and acted fine. Jade even made a morbid Joke about a recent murder in the news to Trina when she had stopped by. But a short while later while eating dinner, Trina realized Jade was only acting. She suddenly had a very bad feeling.

Trina abandoned her dinner and rushed to her car. About 20 minutes later Trina pulled up in front of the apartment building where Jade and Tori lived. Now it was where only Jade lived.

Trina got out of the car and ran up the stairs. She had an extra key that Tori had given her some time before, but she had never used it up to this point.

"Please be ok Jade." Trina said as she turned the key in the lock.

Entering the apartment Trina could see that everything was neat and orderly. But no one was visible, but she could hear the sound of Tori's album coming from the bedroom.

"FUCK!" Trina said as she ran down the hall.

Bursting into the bedroom, Trina's heart sank. Jade was lying on the bed, a picture of Tori clutched her hands. On the floor next to the bed was an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. On the nightstand was an empty bottle of pain killers and a note.

Ignoring the note, Trina rushed to Jade and attempted to shake her awake. Even going as far as slapping her. But the Goth didn't respond. Trina quickly dialed 911 and then her father.

It was then she looked at the note. It looked hastily scrawled .

Tori's gone. She's not coming back. I can't go on alone. I'm going to be with Tori now."

While waiting for the ambulance to arrive Trina kept trying to wake Jade. "WAKE UP YOU STUPID BITCH! TORI WOULD NEVER WANT YOU TO DO THIS? JADE WAKE UP!" Trina kept on screaming until the ambulance arrived.

**End flashback.**

"Your father and his police connections were able to keep it out of the press. Jade was admitted to a private hospital. We all tried to help her, but oddly it was your sister that finally got through to her. To convince her that she needed to live. Trina can be very stubborn and finally convinced Jade that you wouldn't want that. Trina felt obligated to you, to keep at Jade, until she got through. She also pointed out the examples of other girls that turned up sometimes years later still alive."

"Oh my god." Tori said as she continued to cry.

"We convinced Jade that she needed a new place and to put your stuff away. It was hard on us too but harder on her. She got a series of movie rolls shortly after that. Jade though emotionally wounded, lost herself in a series of movie characters. Her career quickly took off after that. She did keep looking for you, however. As I said, we all tried to help her, but we all had our own lives. You're father and I were divorcing at the time. Trina had just met her now husband while on vacation in the Caribbean. Beck and Cat were busy themselves."

Tori just sat quietly for a time as a few more tears fell down her face.

"It sound's strange, but in a way I had an advantage. I knew Jade was alive from the entertainment report on TV. That gave me hope. She didn't have that hope."

Holly put a hand on Tori's shoulder. "I don't mean to belittle you experience, but Jade did suffer. I would recommend that any therapy that you undergo be taken with Jade as well. She need's help too."

Tori nodded. She briefly considered asking her mom about the divorce, but decided not too. She knew she needed to focus on her and Jade's problems in order to move ahead. It deeply saddened her to know that Jade tried to kill herself. But Tori thanked God that Trina saved Jade. But for now Tori decided to focus on getting her life back on track. That was the best way she could begin to help Jade.

"I'll see to it that we both get help. Come on you can help me go through my things. I have no idea what fits anymore. Besides I don't know where anything is." Tori said with a small smile.

"I'd be glad to help you."

Tori stood up and looked at her mother. "I can't thank you enough for taking care of Jade for me."

Holly stood up and gave her daughter a hug, this time it was a bit less awkward. "You're welcome Tori."

Tori then moved to a container and opened it. "Come on, let's get my life back."

**I had a bit of writers block with this chapter. That's why it too so long to get it out. I wanted to touch a bit more on how Jade reacted to Tori's disappearance.**

**Just a comment on Sam and Cat which I saw over the weekend. I did like the show. I noticed that there were no mentions of any other Victorious characters. I also noticed that Cat is mentioned as in school, but it was never mentioned what school she was in. It could be either Hollywood arts or college. In Victorious, Cat was going to a performing arts high school and was a talented singer. I hope they maintain that aspect of the character in the new show. That she aims to be in the entertainment industry in some respect. **

**Spinoffs sometimes don't work because they start to change the character. Joey on friends had no problem getting girls. Joey on the spinoff show, not as much. He actually became kind of pathetic in my opinion. In other words, I want them to develop the Character of Cat, not make her something different. If that makes any sense.**


	12. Storm Front

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me. **

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 12 – Storm front**

**No One's POV**

It was over an hour before Jade and LJ returned from their walk on the beach. When they returned, they found Tori and her mom had already gone through a couple of containers. Tori had two piles of clothes, one's that still fit and one's that didn't. Tori was at least a size bigger and some of her old clothes fit.

"So how did everything go while we were gone?" Asked Jade, as she came into the house.

"Good." Tori said with a fake smile. "We talked for a bit then started to go through my old things. I fit into some of my old clothes."

Jade plopped down on the couch and smirked. "So you were talking about me weren't you."

Tori quickly turned slightly pale as she looked at her mother. But she was facing away, so Jade didn't see the upset look on Tori's face. Tori's mom knew that Tori was still very upset regarding Jade's suicide attempt.

Tori quickly put on the fake smile back on her face and turned to face Jade. "No, my mom has been telling me about her Job in San Francisco. She works in an Insurance company."

"Mommy Jade, I'm hungry." LJ said from the corner of the room.

Jade got off the couch and looked at LJ. "Come on Kiddo, I'll fix you a snack."

A moment after Jade and LJ was gone Tori gave her mom a worried look. "I worry about her mom. I worried about her a lot when I was in that basement. I knew she was alive but she didn't know I was alive."

Tori's mom put a hand on her daughter's shoulder. She was comforted by the fact that Tori's concern for others was still very much intact. But it worried her, that the look of happiness that was always in her eyes was absent. "You are with Jade. You can help her and she can help you. Everything is going to be fine dear."

At this point the doorbell rang. Tori then walked to the door and opened it. Trina was there with a handsome looking man with short brown hair and two little boys.

"Trina. Is this?" Tori said as she motioned them to come in.

"Yes, this is my husband Brian and my two boys, Chris and Adam."

Brian smiled and extended his hand, which Tori shook. "I've heard so much about you. I can't tell you how glad we are to hear that you are safe."

Tori led everyone back into the living room and were joined by Jade and LJ a few moments later. LJ greeted her two young cousins with a friendly wave. The 2 year old Chris seemed oblivious but the 4 year old Adam seemed happy to make a new friend.

The adults began to talk again but were soon interrupted by the doorbell ringing once again. Jade went to the door and a few moments later returned with a woman with very short bleach blonde hair. Both Jade and the woman were holding shopping bags.

"Hey Brian" Jade called out. "There are a few more bags in the car parked outside would you mind getting them please."

"Sure" He said, before quickly departing.

"What's this?" Tori said stepping forward.

"Tori, this is shelly, my personal assistant. She has some goodies for LJ." Jade said, as she put down a large bag marked Al's Toy Barn.

"Something for me!" said LJ as she ran to the bag and extracted a pair of brand new Barbie Dolls's, still in the packaging.

"BARBIES" Shrieked LJ with Joy as she held up her new toys.

"More than that kiddo, Christmas is early. Santa said you've been really good so you get yours early. He was a bit pressed for time so he dropped them off at Shelly's office downtown."

LJ ignored the fact that all the bags were marked Al's Toy barn and started to pull out toy after toy after Toy. The little girl examined each Toy with glee as it was removed from the bag. Brian returned a few moments later with two large bags. It took him three more trips to bring in all the toys.

Jade stood there in the back, watching the little girl light up with a quiet smile on her face. A moment later she felt Tori's arm slide around her back.

Jade looked over at Tori, for a brief moment the sparkle that had long disappeared from the Latina's eyes reappeared. That was followed by a single tear that ran down the Latina's cheek.

"You're so good to us, to my baby." Tori said, her voice filled with emotion.

"A little girl needs toys, I thought I would surprise her with some." Jade said with a satisfied look.

"Some, it looks like you bought out half the store!" Tori said as she watched Trina and Brian drag in a play kitchen.

"She spent the first five years of her life in a friggen basement. She deserves it." Jade stated bluntly as a more serious look grew on her face.

For a few moments more Jade watched her namesake cuddle a small doll with an intense look. Tori watched the expression on the Goth's face and tired to read it. It looked like a mixture of grief, guilt, anguish and a half dozen other emotions.

Tori gently kissed Jade on the cheek. "On behalf of my daughter, I thank you."

Jade looked back at Tori as her expression softened. For an instant she seemed to be at a loss for words but she seemed to find them a moment later.

"I'd very much like to adopt her. I don't want her to just be my stepdaughter. I want her to be my daughter as much as yours. I'll do what ever I need to do to make that happen, money is not object. I've only known her a few days but I love her as if she was my very own." Jade said letting a good amount of emotion creep into her voice.

Another tear came to Tori's eye. "I've always considered Little Jade to be our daughter. Just the fact that you felt the same way makes so happy. I would dream about us being a family. You're wonderful Jade. I love you." With that Tori threw her arms around Jade for a tight hug.

More people arrived short while later. It was Tori's dad, stepmother and little brother. Once again like yesterday the adults spent much time talking while the children played outside. The new swing set had been completed and was a great hit amongst the children.

Tori seemed to be in good spirits and enjoying the company during the afternoon. Tori and Jade officially announced their engagement, which was well received by everyone. As the day went on, Jade sensed that Tori's apparent happiness was more and more an act. After a few hours, Jade also began to notice a weariness in Tori's eyes. She sensed that Tori had had enough excitement for one day. She knew Tori was still recovering from an extremely traumatic experience and needed time to rest.

Jade debated making up some excuse to get rid of everyone, but ultimately decided to announce that Tori was tired and needed some rest. Thought the Latina protested by saying she was fine, Jade could see a look of relief creep into Tori's eyes.

Tori's mom, dad and sister all needed to get back to their homes. They also got Jade's rather obvious message that Tori needed some alone time to recover. So they all said they were returning home. All of them invited Tori, Jade and LJ out to visit when ever they would like. Tori's mom, being the closest, said she would visit again the next week to check up on Tori.

As the group was breaking up Tori walked up to Trina. "Can I speak to you alone for a moment sis. In private?"

Trina nodded and followed her sister to one of the bedrooms. "What do you need Tori?"

Tori looked to the floor and then back at her sister. "Mom told me what you did for Jade. I..I..can't thank you enough for saving her." Tori said as tears came to her eyes.

"Does she know you know?"

"No"

Trina sighed. "You know that Jade was never one of my favorite people, but she was the person you loved in the world most. I couldn't let anything happen to her. I'd never forgive myself if I did. I'm just sorry I couldn't help her more."

Tori just gave her sister a hug. "Thank you big sis."

"No problem. If I can't take care of my little sister, than I'll watch over the thing she loves. I'm just happy to have you back. You, Jade and LJ need to come to Chicago. Brian and I have a beautiful home just outside of Chicago in Kenilworth, Illinois. That and we have a summer house on a wonderful, quiet lake in central Wisconsin. You can guys soak in the lake and relax." Trina said with a reassuring smile.

"Wisconsin, Land of beer and cheese?" Tori said with a small laugh.

"You should see the Mars cheese castle in Kenosha. That store, has a cheese selection second to none. I'll tell you, they take their beer and cheese very seriously. But seriously Tori, Don't be a stranger. Please come up. We can spend time together, I'll take you down to Michigan Avenue in Chicago and we can all do some shopping."

Tori nodded. "I will."

In the next couple of days, other than delivery people dropping things off, they had no visitors. Jade could see that Tori needed peace and quiet and kept anyone unnecessary away. Jade would occupy herself playing the LJ a lot, to give Tori time to herself. Jade also spent much time waiting on Tori, taking care of her every need.

Tori spent a lot of time just sitting on the patio looking out over the ocean. She would just sit out there for long periods of time just starring. Occasionally she would take a long walk on the beach. Jade noticed that when others were around Tori would act much like her old self, but when alone she was much more withdrawn and quiet. There was a look of apprehension and fear in her eyes that never quiet went away.

Once when Tori dropped a plate in the kitchen by accident, she suddenly burst into tears. Tori quickly found herself on her knees cleaning it up and begging forgiveness before Jade could stop her. Jade just pulled at sobbing Tori into her harms and held her until she stopped crying.

At night Jade would pull the Latina in her arms and gently sing to Tori until she fell asleep. She hoped the soothing melody would keep away Tori's nightmares. It didn't, but Jade kept doing it anyway.

But in all of this, there was a tension in the household. Like a barrier that neither wanted to cross. The barrier was talking about what they felt, what they had experienced. Jade was afraid to ask Tori what happened for those nine years. She didn't want to make Tori go through it again. Jade knew she could hold Tori and tell the Latina how wonderful she was, but she felt like she didn't know what else to do. It was very frustrating to her.

Jade herself was plagued by her own problems. First of all she was dealing with the fact that she was trying to reduce her alcohol intake which wasn't easy for her. It made her tense and edgy. On top of everything else, was the mountain of guilt and anguish that sat firmly on Jade's shoulders.

Tori could see it all in Jade's eyes, despite her best attempts to hide it. She also hid it by overcompensating in the care of Tori. Jade wouldn't let Tori do any work, not even make the bed. The Goth was extremely protective of Tori at the same time. Though she would leave Tori alone, Jade would keep very close tabs on her. Even on her walks on the beach Jade would always be on the bluff keeping an eye on Tori.

An appointment had been made for Tori's therapy for the following week. Tori herself had half hinted a few times that it might be best for Jade to participate as well but she brushed it off each time. Tori worried about Jade, knowing she had tried to kill herself at least once. But Tori was very afraid to breech the subject.

It was like, each knew the other was in pain but didn't quite know how to deal with it without making it worse. That tension over the days had gradually risen until the 5th night that Tori was back.

It was night, LJ was asleep and Tori after doing some reading, wandered out onto the patio where she found Jade. Jade was sitting in a chair starring out into the black void where the ocean was. Tori could see a glass and a nearly empty bottle of Vodka was sitting on the table next to Jade. Tori had noticed that Jade's attempts to curb her drinking seemed to be not doing so well in the last day or so. Jade had also become more and more moody in the last day as well. That just piled more worry on Tori's very unsettled mind.

"How about we get Cat to baby sit LJ and we go out for a late dinner. We could go to Nozu, for old time's sake." Tori said, trying to break the tension.

Jade didn't turn her gaze from the dark ocean. "No."

Tori let out a forlorn sigh, which Jade only half appeared to notice. "I need to do something Jade. You won't even let me clean. Can I go out myself? I'll even take my car. You had it so nicely kept up for me. I'd just like to drive up the Pacific Coast Highway for a bit."

Jade then turned to look at Tori with an unreadable expression. "No"

A second later Jade realized what she had just said. She had said No, meaning that Tori couldn't leave. All of a sudden she felt a thousand times worse than she did a few moments ago. With one swift motion Jade grabbed the vodka bottle, drained it and then chucked it into the pool.

"I'm sorry, go ahead. The inside of the car, is just as you left it. The police went over it of course to try and find out what happened to you. But it's the same."

"It didn't happen at my car." Said Tori, in a barely audible tone.

Jade suddenly looked at Tori with a puzzled look. "I always thought he grabbed you at your car?"

Tori lowered her head. "He walked up to me in the parking lot and said his daughter was a big fan. He said his daughter was in a wheelchair and asked if I could say hello to her. He said she was in his van. I...I…"

Jade's face suddenly distorted in anger as she sprung out of the chair. "YOU JUST WENT WITH HIM, FOLLOWED HIM TO HIS VAN!"

Tori started to cry. "I'm sorry, he said his daughter was my biggest fan and I didn't want to let anyone down. I got there and he pushed me in.." Tori said through her tears, before Jade cut her off.

"I told you even then Tori. You had to be careful. Even then you had admirers that didn't know when to quit. I can't belive you would be so stupid to just go with him like that." Jade spewed out in an almost uncontrollable rage.

"How could you do that to me!" Jade shouted. Tori felt Jade's words slice through her, like razors.

Tori simply fell to her knees and began to sob uncontrollably, her face in her hands. "I'm sorry Jade."

Tori was so upset and grief stricken she barely noticed Jade scream and storm off. What she did notice, was the distinct sound of Jade's Ferrari burning rubber down the driveway.

**I come back and leave you on a cliffhanger. **

**I threw in a reference to Toy Story with the Al's Toy Barn shopping bag. Don't expect to see woody or buzz, however. **

**The Mar's Cheese Castle is a very real and popular place in south east Wisconsin.**

**I'm back from vacation and I'm back to writing. One helpful tip I've learned from being on vacation is to not to try to pack too many activities into your trip. Take a few hours where you have nothing planned and just soak in the pool or something. You will be much better off.**


	13. Impossible things I've seen today

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori.**

**Chapter 13 – Impossible things I've seen today.**

**No One's POV**

2 hours and about 30 unanswered, frantic phone calls later, Tori was sitting on in the corner of the living room on the floor. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and she was just blankly starring off into space. She had cried for more than an hour, becoming more and more scared since Jade has stormed off.

By now she was terrified. In her captivity when she was really scared, she would retreat to a corner of her small bedroom and just sit there. Sit there in the dark and wish everything away. It was a little after 10 o'clock, when the phone sitting next to her on the floor rang.

Half in a trance, Tori grabbed the phone and looked at the caller I.D. it was Jade.

Her heart started to race as she answered the phone.

Before Tori could even talk she heard Jade speaking.

"I failed you." Jade said quietly. Her voice sounded strained and full of grief. At the same time her words were slurred. Tori figured Jade drunk even more after she left.

"Jade"

"I failed you Tori. I blew up at you, I made this all about me. Not just tonight but…." Jade started to speak but her voice trailed off.

"You didn't fail me. You suffered too." Tori said as a tear ran down her face.

"Not as much as you did. It's so small in here, so quiet. How could you have…" Jade said letting her voice trail off.

A chill suddenly ran down Tori's spine.

"Jade, where are you?" Tori asked, praying the answer wasn't what she feared.

Jade sounded so broken as her voice came over the phone. "Hell, you're hell. Just the right place for me."

Tears suddenly flooded Tori's eyes. "Jade, you're scaring me, please don't scare me. I'm afraid enough already. Why are you there."

"I've let you down. I yelled at you tonight and … I just needed to see this place. I broke in."

Tori stood up and put her hand on her chest as she started to hyperventilate. The thought of Jade in that place was probably the worst thing that she could possibly think of. Even though her former captor was in jail and had been held without bond pending trial, just the thought of Jade in that basement struck Tori with terror.

"Please Jade don't be there. Please come back to me, you're really scaring me Jade. I need you." Tori pleaded through heavy sobs.

"I'm no good for you Tori. I raided his liquor cabinet. I deserve to be here. I think I'm just going to drink more of this shitty brandy. You never deserved this, somehow I feel….." That was all Jade said.

"Jade! Jade!" Tori screamed.

"Think I'll just sleep. I never should have given up on you. But I did and became a worthless drunken whore. I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror. So tired…."

"Jade!" Tori screamed even louder. But this time there was no response. The phone line was still open but Jade wasn't talking anymore. Tori realized that Jade must have passed out.

Tori at this point was near hysteria, though Jade wasn't in any real danger, Tori was terrified. She spent several minutes pacing back and forth trying to figure out what to do.

"I…I…I have to get her." Tori said.

Tori's hands were shaking, when she dialed Cat and Beck.

"Hello" Cat answered.

"Cat, I need your help." Tori said half hysterical.

Cat immediately sensed that something was very wrong.

"What's wrong Tor?" Cat said trying to be reassuring.

"It's Jade, she's been drinking and had kind of a fight. She left and…I need to get her. I need you to watch Little Jade while I get her."

"Where is she?"

"She went to the Martin house. The house where I was kept. She broke in and is now passed out in the basement. I need to get her." Tori pleaded.

"KK, Tell you what. I'll be there in about 15 minutes."

Cat had barely driven up into the driveway some 16 minutes later, when Tori took off in her car. Not before taking just long enough to tell Cat that LJ was asleep upstairs.

Tori couldn't believe that she was going back there; to his house. Just the thought of it made her want to puke. But as afraid as she was of that place, she was more afraid of Jade hurting herself.

Tori knew about the one attempt but the other day she had spotted a very small scar, a straight line less than an inch long, on Jade's left wrist. Tori suspected it was a 2nd attempt that she couldn't go through with. Tori knew the 1st attempt involved taking pills. The scar appeared like she had started to cut but stopped for some reason. Tori also suspected that no one else knew about the 2nd attempt.

Tori herself had half considered killing herself once or twice, but the knowledge that Jade was out there helped keep her going. The book "A day in the life of Ivan Denisovich" helped to harden her resolve. If that man could survive 10 years in a Siberian gulag than she could survive in a basement.

As she drove closer to the quiet suburban neighborhood where the house was located, Tori's hands began to shake. A cold fear ran through her entire being as she turned onto the street where the house was located.

The house itself was rather mundane looking, being a 2 story ranch house with green siding on it. A 2 car garage was attached on the left side of the home. Though the older home looked slightly run down, it looked like any other house on the block. Though in the darkness, the unlit house took on a more sinister appearance. Tori could see the police tape on the front door was still there.

Tori spotted Jade's black Ferrari parked down the street under a large willow tree. Tori parked behind and got out of her car. By now, not only were her hands shaking, her whole body was quivering in fear. Her love for Jade drove her on in spite of her fear.

But she was determined to retrieve Jade and kept going around the back. There was a high fence that surrounded the back yard and Tori knew once she was through the gate she wouldn't be seen from any of the other houses.

Tori quietly slipped around the side and quietly opened the gate. The back yard was dimly lit, only a half moon above provided any light.

"Hey there hot stuff." A very old, familiar voice called out quietly from the shadows.

For half a second Tori felt like she was going to have a heart attack, as she turned to look where the voice came from.

Much to her shock, the first thing she saw under a tree amongst the shadows was,

Rex Powers

Tori's already tormented mind starred at the puppet as it seemed to float out of the shadows. As her eyes adjusted to the light she realized that Rex was being carried by Robbie. Tori also noticed a attractive woman with long brown hair with him.

"Hey we were burglarizing this house. Find your own place to rob." Rex snapped quickly.

Tori's mind went off line for a few moments as she blankly starred at Rex.

A second later she was shaken out of her trace by Robbie, who gave the shocked Latina a quick hug. "Tori, it's me Robbie. Cat called and said you were coming here. She didn't want you to be alone so she called me. She would have sent Beck, but he had to watch their daughter Chloe."

"Oh.." Tori said as she looked to the smiling woman behind Robbie.

Robbie looked at the girl and then to Tori. "Tori, meet my girlfriend Maria Acosta. She wanted to meet you. I'm sorry I couldn't welcome you back earlier, but I was out of town until yesterday. I'm so glad you are safe."

Tori shook Maria's hand. "Jade told me a bit about you, you're from Argentina. Right?"

"Si, I am from Rio Gallegos in the south. I am so pleased to meet you, Miss Vega. Robbie, Rex and I are so happy you are unharmed." The woman said in an Argentinean accent.

Tori then looked at Robbie. "I thought you got rid of Rex, that's what Jade told me."

"I'm back baby, good to see you. How rude of this clown keeping you all to himself." Rex said in a friendly tone.

"Maria wanted to meet Rex so I brought him out of storage and she thought he was great. So she wanted me to keep him around." Robbie said.

"She's teaching me spanish. Now I'll be able to insult Robbie in two languages. Not to mention that those Northridge girls will love my new linguistic capabilities." Rex said in a bragging tone of voice.

"Senior Rex is so funny and charming. I love having him around, most of the time." Maria said as she ran a finger under Robbie's chin with a wry smile.

"I'm still mad you won't let me watch." Rex retorted, only generating a laugh from Maria.

Tori had now seen two very impossible things happen tonight, much to her shock. First that she willingly went back to her captor's house and second, someone actually found Rex Powers charming and funny. If Tori weren't so terrified, nervous and upset she would have probably laughed at it all.

But the presence of Robbie and Maria, did help calm her shattered nerves somewhat.

"Do you need us to come in with you Tori?" Robbie asked.

Tori took a deep breath. She felt like she needed to do this alone. Get over her fear. "No, you shouldn't need to. Just keep an eye out for cops. I'll give you a shout if I need your help."

Robbie nodded. "OK, we'll wait by the back door."

Tori walked up to the back door and could see the glass had been broken in and the police tape had been torn off. The door opened quietly as she turned the doorknob and pushed.

"Jade." Tori quietly said to herself as she crossed the threshold.

She found herself in the unlit kitchen. The only sound she could hear, was the quiet hum of the refrigerator sitting in the corner. Otherwise, the house was empty and quiet. Tori's hands began to shake, as she kept imagining Him bursting into the room.

"Back down into the basement." She remembered his voice as it would echo across the house some days.

Every fiber of her being wanted to flee, run as far and as fast as could but knowing Jade was downstairs she pressed on toward the basement stairs. As she got to the top she could see a light on in the basement.

"I can't believe I'm going back. But Jade needs me and I need her." Tori said, her hands still trembling, as she took her first step down the basement stairs.

**I thought this would be a good place to end this chapter. Tori is going back to get Jade and has to face her fears all at the same time. I thought I would throw in a little comic relief with the reappearance of Rex Powers. **


	14. Haunt thy native place

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me. **

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 14 – Haunt thy native place**

**No one's Pov.**

Slowly Tori walked down the steps, her heart seeming to beat faster with each step. At the same time her nerves seem to become more frayed with forward movement of her shaking form. Finally she made it down to the landing at the bottom. On the left was a plain door which Tori knew, lead to the room with the furnace, water heater and a small workshop.

Straight ahead was an open door. Anyone looking at the door would notice, that it was made of metal and had a very heavy lock. Tori hated that door more than anything, it being the primary barrier between her and freedom.

But now it just sat open, it looked almost inviting. That alone made Tori feel more unsettled.

Tori closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could barely think straight, her nerves were shot. Giving herself a final bit of resolve, Tori once again stepped across the threshold into her private hell.

The basement appeared to be very much like a small apartment. The floor had faded blue carpeting and the walls were wood paneling. Inside and to the immediate right was a small kitchen and small was the word. It had a stove, refrigerator, cabinets, sink and microwave. To the immediate left was a closet that doubled as a storage closet and pantry. On the far side of the kitchen was another door which led to a tiny laundry room.

Just past the kitchen and pantry the area, it opened up into a small living room. On the right was a small entertainment center. Flanking the entertainment center were two large bookshelves, each shelf filled to the brim with books. In her time there, Tori had read every single one of them. There were toys scattered about on the floor in a haphazard fashion. In one corner there were some storage tubs with various items, that weren't used too often. Normally Tori kept her quarters very neat but felt no obligation to clean up when she was escaping.

There were two other doorways leading out of the living room. One door that was located in the far corner lead to a bathroom. The other door in center of the wall opened to a small hall way. At the end of hallway were 3 doors.

The one in the center was a linen closet. The one on the right was Little Jade's room and the one of the left was Tori's room.

It would seem like a normal basement apartment, albeit rather cramped and stuffy, not to mention quiet. The walls had been soundproofed and all basement windows were bricked up long ago. In the early days Tori damaged things to try to show her displeasure that she was being held captive. Several of the scars on her back came as a result of her punishment for such actions.

It looked like an apartment but Tori knew better; it was a prison. Of course it appeared pretty much as she had left it. She knew the police had obviously been there. On the counter in the kitchen was an unused police evidence bag that some officer had probably forgotten during their search.

Tori half expected Jade to be on the brown couch that sat opposite the entertainment center, but she wasn't. Before she went any further into the apartment, Tori took the trash can from the kitchen and put it in front of the exit door so it wouldn't move. It probably wouldn't move in any case, unless someone actually tried to shut it. But it made Tori feel just a bit better to know that she had put something in front of it.

Tori walked into the apartment and went to where she guessed Jade would be; her old bedroom.

Tori's room was very small, a double bed, sat in one corner. A wooden dresser and a small vanity were the only other pieces of furniture in the room. A small closet sat open, along one wall.

To her relief, Tori spotted Jade passed out on the bed, holding a bottle of brandy in her hand. Tori now hated the smell of brandy, which was a frequent drink of her captor. She could smell it on his breath as he raped her more times that she could count. After a brief moment of relief, Tori suddenly felt a tremendous surge of anger swell up inside of her.

It was anger at this place primarily, but it was also anger at the person who had made her come here once again. She knew Jade has problems, but Tori needed help and she needed Jade. It may have been a bit irrational but her surging anger quickly focused on her passed out fiancé. In any case, her anger had been building up for a long time and she could hold it in no longer.

She left the room and went to the kitchen, pulling out a grey plastic bucket from under the sink. Tori then filled it with ice cubes from the freezer and then filled it with ice cold water from the large sink in the laundry room.

The then took the bucket into the bedroom where Jade was snoring on the bed.

"I'm sorry baby, but I need your help and your love, not your self pitying bullshit." Tori said as she then proceeded to dump the entire bucket on Jade's face.

Jade was passed out in a drunken stupor when she suddenly felt very cold and very wet. The Goth suddenly sat up, coughing and choking as some of the ice cold water had gone down her throat. A moment later, still somewhat disorientated, Jade looked around.

"What. Who. Fuck." The Goth sputtered in confusion as she wiped some of the ice cold water off her face.

"JADE!" Tori barked, as her anger seemed to run out of control.

The soaking wet Goth's head snapped around towards Tori just in time to get slapped clean across the face. Now Jade felt cold, wet and her left cheek stung.

"Jade. You never should have come here! Now you make me come back, to drag your drunk ass out of my personal hell. Do you have any idea how nerve wracking that is?" Tori shouted.

Jade opened her mouth to speak but Tori cut her off, still shouting. "In this room especially. Do you want to know how many times I was raped in this room? Do you remember the nightmares I have every night Jade? Well this is where they all take place. Whether John was beating me senseless or fucking me up the ass, it was right here in this room Jade! Right now a part of me wants to leave you in this shit hole cause I'm so mad at you, but I'm not going to. It's the same reason that I ignored the fact that I'm terrified out of my wits but came anyway, so I can drag your self pitying drunk carcass out of here."

Jade finally was able to get a word in edgewise, almost immediately beginning to cry. "I'm sorry. I feel so guilty. Not just because I was a drunken whore, but because I gave up on you. I gave up looking for you. I never should have stopped. I found a few days ago out that John made some cryptic comments on one of the Tori Vega memorial internet sites. One was a comment on the day Little Jade was born about how it would have been nice for Tori to have a little girl. I used to read that site, to try and learn something from the people that would offer their theories. But I gave up, I stopped looking. I should have picked up all that clowns weird comments, he made dozens of them. But I was too busy getting drunk and fucking any girl that moved. Now look at me. I'm still drunk and I'm an emotional wreck, what good am I for…"

Tori cut Jade off with a second slap to the face and continued to shout. "I don't ever want to hear you say how you're not good for me again. Do you understand! I get it. You have issues and you suffered. I forgive you for sleeping around. I'm not happy about it, but I forgive you. I understand you thought I was dead. I forgive you for that too. I will help you in any way I can. But here's the thing Jade. I NEED YOU. I need your strength, I need your touch, I need your love. I need you tell me I'm worthy human being and not some psychos personal fuck toy. I need you tell me you love me."

Tori took a deep breath as she continued to seethe. "I craved all those things while I was here in this shit hole and I need them all badly. What I don't need is your self pitying bullshit. You are going to go to therapy with me, I'm not giving you a choice. I know you tried to kill yourself at least twice and I'm sorry you suffered but I need you and I don't want to lose you."

Almost without warning Tori's hands started to shake as tears suddenly burst from her eyes. "I just need you Jade. I know it's hard to talk it is for me too. I love you so much. When I was here I…I…missed you so much. He would touch me and after I would just cry because it was him touching me and not you."

Tori's strength seemed to evaporate on the spot as she sank to her knees. "HE RAPED ME JADE! OVER AND OVER. I FEEL SO DIRTY!" Tori shouted, through her sobs as she seemed to just come apart.

Between the ice cold bath, the dressing down that Tori just gave her and the fact that Tori was now sobbing on the floor, Jade snapped out of her rather depressed mood. It became painfully obvious to Jade that though she had serious issues to deal with herself, Tori was in desperate need of her love and support. Jade also realized that her continual self-pity party was only hurting the woman she loved. Jade couldn't believe Tori still loved her after all this, but it warmed her heart to know that Tori still did.

Jade, jumped off the bed and threw her arms around the now inconsolable Latina. Tori just sobbed uncontrollably in Jade's arms, ignoring the fact that Jade was still dripping wet.. Only now, was Jade getting a true idea of the depths of Tori's pain. Jade felt terrible for making Tori come back here and not supporting her as much as she could. She made a vow that she would do her very best to help Tori recover in any way she could.

"I'm Sorry Baby. I won't let you down ever again. I promise. I love you." Jade whispered quietly in Tori's ear as she gently rocked her.

Jade knew she needed to get Tori out of this place, both physically and mentally. Ignoring the fact she was soaking wet and still a bit drunk, Jade helped Tori off the floor. She then walked Tori out of the door into the hallway.

"Wait" Tori suddenly said and quickly disappeared into the other bedroom. She reappeared a moment later clutching a small stuffed grey elephant.

"This is Mr. Muggs. This is Little Jade's favorite stuffy. She would sleep with him every night. She was very upset we left him behind." Tori said between sobs.

Jade nodded and moved on into the living room, where Tori paused at the bookshelf. She pulled a rather worn paperback book from one of the shelves and clutched it along with the elephant. Jade didn't even have to guess, to know what book it was. It seemed fitting to Jade, that Tori would grab the one thing that both her and her daughter seemed to depend on most while they were held captive here.

Tori was still crying and very distraught, but the presence of the book and stuffed animal seemed to calm her a bit.

Jade looked at Tori. "Are you ready to leave here forever?"

Tori could only nod in reply as Jade eased the still sobbing Tori towards the door.

"Promise you'll never leave me Jade." Tori whimpered.

"Never" Jade replied, as she guided Tori out beyond the open metal door to the base of the basement stairs.

Tori paused for a moment and looked into the apartment, just staring into it, tears streaming down her face. She reached in and flipped a light switch causing the lights in the apartment to go off. She then moved the trash can and with a look of determination slammed the door shut.

Tori just seemed to wilt in Jades arms at this point, her strength gone.

"Come on Baby, let's go home." Jade said as she started to help Tori up the stairs.

**I hoped you liked this chapter. You got a description of where Tori was kept and Jade realized she wasn't helping Tori with her self-pity. **

**I hope to have the next chapter out in a few days. What do you all think of Tori's reaction to Jade? I had her get very angry and just vent at Jade. **

**The chapter title is part of a poem called "The Giaour" by Lord Byron. That part of the poem is actually about a vampire, but I liked that particular phrase so I used it as a chapter title.**


	15. Skin against Skin

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 15 – Skin against Skin**

**Jade's POV**

I had to practically carry Tori up the stairs. The Latina had used up the last of her strength pretty much just coming here. I could see that the outburst in the basement left her both physically and emotionally drained.

Tori just clutched the book and stuffed animal to her chest for dear life and said nothing we they made out way out of the house.

The first thing I saw as I got outside was none other than that accursed puppet Rex Powers. He was in the arms of Robbie. His girlfriend Maria, whom I had met some time ago, was standing directly behind him.

"Is she OK? She was going in for you." Robbie quickly asked.

"She's not ok." I quickly hissed as I gave Rex a death stare, hoping to cut off any of his remarks before they were uttered.

"Music" Mumbled Tori, sounding half incoherent.

"What baby?" I said as she looked to Tori.

"I wrote music, it's in a binder downstairs. I need the music." Tori muttered.

I huffed, but before I could say anything Robbie interjected. "Let me know where it is and I'll get it for you. "

"Entertainment center, shelf to the left of the TV. It's a red binder. You can't miss it." Tori, who I was still helping to stand up, said with a very weary tone of voice.

Robbie went into the house and for some reason didn't emerge for 10 minutes. By the time he emerged with the binder, my patience had run out.

"What the fuck were you doing in there, making a pizza?" I snarled, as I snatched the binder out of his hands and handed it to Tori.

"Somebody didn't use the bathroom before he came. "Rex said quickly.

I only growled in response as we moved to leave the yard. As we got to the street, I looked at the cars and had an idea.

"Can one of you drive my Ferrari back to my house?"

"I can." Said Maria.

"You wreck it you owe me 80,000 dollars and your firstborn child." I said with a smirk, as I tossed Maria the Keys.

"She ain't kidding." Rex added.

Robbie ran to Tori's car and opened the passenger door, where I gently deposited Tori in the front seat. I looked to Robbie and told him and Maria to meet us at my place. Where then I went around the car and got in the driver's seat.

Looking over at Tori I could see she had already fallen asleep, still clutching the book, binder and stuffed elephant.

I was still a bit drunk but in some ways much more sober than I had been in a long time. I had my head stuck in my ass for so long I could barely thing straight. I just wish I could have snapped out of it without dragging Tori back into that hellhole.

I ran my hand briefly through Tori's hair and then started the car. I needed to get her home and into bed. As we drove even though she was sound asleep I started to talk to her. I felt the need to try to open up in some way. Perhaps by starting when she was asleep was a good place to start.

I had driven for several minutes when I began to speak. "Tori, I know you don't want to hear this but I need to let some of this out. In the last nine years I have broken up 2 marriages and 7 other relationships. I stole one guy from his girlfriend, 2 women from their husbands, 2 women from their boyfriends and 4 girls from their girlfriends. I did it because I hated them. I hated them because they were happy. I hated the sight of couples walking happily hand in hand, I couldn't stand it. Women and occasionally men were things to be conquered, fucked and abandoned. My happiness had been stolen from me and after a while I began to resent others who were happy."

I looked over to Tori to see if she even perceived anything I had said. She simply began to snore.

I wasn't sure why I felt the need to confess my sins but I just needed too. I wasn't even sure if it was a good idea. "I had become so bitter, resentful and full of hatred. I saved the most intense hatred for myself. I was so ashamed for what I had become. That was one of the reasons that I had started to drink so heavily. I've always been a selfish bitch, but you would have been so disappointed in me. I've always been terrified that you wouldn't love me anymore."

"I still love you Jade, I always will." I heard Tori say quietly, which startled me.

"TORI? You heard me."

Tori nodded her head. "I have a confession, I was afraid you would no longer love me either. I'm not quite the same Tori that I once was."

"I'm not the same Jade I once was either. But even know I can't fathom being with anyone else and I don't want too." I said taking her hand causing a weak smile to appear on Tori's face.

Jade looked to Tori as she appeared to be falling asleep, for real this time. But just as the Latina drifted off she murmered. "Our Love is forever, it will nourish us, it will bind us, and it will heal us."

I very much liked the way Tori phrased it. In typical Vega fashion, it was horribly cheesy, but I happen to be in love with her. As a result I've grown very fond of Vega's, typical cheesiness. I was finally feeling that there was some real hope for our happiness.

I called ahead and had Cat waiting at the door. She grabbed the elephant, book and binder while I carried Tori in my arms. It was difficult to carry her but I gladly bore her weight. I took her upstairs to our bedroom, put on her sleeping clothes and put her to bed.

Next I walked into LJ's room holding the stuffed Elephant, Mr. Muggs. LJ was sleeping peacefully in her Dora the explorer Pajamas. I then gently placed Mr. Muggs in her arms. Seeming to sense the presence of her favorite item, LJ clutched the elephant tightly to her chest.

I then thanked Cat, Maria and Robbie before sending them on their way. Before going to bed, I poured out all the liquor I had in the house. I knew I could never drink again. I needed to stop for Tori and for our daughter.

At this point I turned out the lights and went up to bed. My thoughts were about Tori and our future together. I just wanted it to be a happy one. Before I got into bed, I sat on a chair in the corner and just watched her sleep. I think for an hour at least I just watched her. Her sleeping form was bathed in dim moonlight. It gave her beautiful features an unearthly glow. I was so lucky to have her here with me.

I finally stripped down naked and stood before the bed. This wasn't about sex, it was about letting her be as close to me as humanly possible. The nights we had been together I had both slept in panties and a t shirt. In the old days more often than not, we would sleep naked. Feeling her skin pressed against mine was magical. Perhaps when she felt ready she would join me again in sleeping together like we used to. I hoped I wasn't pushing things too far, especially after the events of tonight. I hoped that this would helps us heal somewhat.

"I love you Tori Vega." I said softly before I crawled under the covers with her. Much like her daughter she unconsciously sensed the presence of her favorite thing in the world and tightly wrapped her arms around my naked form. Eventually she put her head into the crook of my neck and never once woke up. For the first time in years my head was clear and i felt some semblance of peace. I knew both of us had a long road ahead but I knew what I needed to do.

**No one's pov.**

Safely enshrined in Tori's arms, Jade drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Tori, sensing unconsciously the naked form of her soulmate was comforted by its presence. Bolstered by the feeling of Jade's body, her mind was able to do something it hadn't done in some time. It was able to keep the nightmares away.

Hour's later Tori woke in the early morning hours, just before 5:30. She realized that for the first time in months she had been able to sleep peacefully. But what attracted her attention more was the fact that she was spooning Jade's naked body. It was only then did she realize how much she missed just that simple pleasure. After taking a quick trip to the bathroom she returned to the bedroom where stripped herself.

She knew that jade sleeping in the nude wasn't about sex, it was about just being with the other. It was the simple act of being pressed against your lover, skin against skin as the nighttime hours slipped past that Tori loved. As they had many times before.

Tori felt ready to take a small step forward, so she slipped under the covers and pressed her naked form tightly against Jade's. For a moment she felt like she was floating on a cloud as she savored the feeling of Jades flesh pressed against hers. It was an intoxicating feeling that for a brief time chased away her demons allowing her to once again fall into a contented sleep. Jade herself, though still asleep, was comforted by the presence of Tori's naked body.

Some 2 hours later, the girls were awoken suddenly by a happily shrieking LJ, who was excited the the mysterious reappearance of Mr. Muggs.

"Mommy Jade, Mommy Tori, Mr. Muggs is back." The child yelled, as she charged into the room.

Slightly embarrassed as realized they were naked, Tori and Jade tried best to cover themselves.

"That's good baby." Tori said. "Would you mind giving me and momma Jade a few minutes to get dressed."

Seeing that her mommies were desperate to keep themselves covered, the little girl looked at the door. "It wasn't locked. So that meant you weren't doing special mommy things. Right?"

Jade nodded. "No pumpkin, you were right but we need a few minutes. Could you play in you're room and I'll make some pancakes for you in a short bit."

LJ looked to Mr. Muggs . "Come on Mr. Mugg's, let's play dollies." The girl said as she exited the room, closing the door behind her.

For a few minutes Jade and Tori quietly faced each other in bed. Each of them had a contented smile. Jade wanted to touch Tori, but wasn't sure how much she'd be comfortable with.

"Thanks" Tori purred. "It felt like old times for a short while."

Jade felt her heart swell. "I'm glad." Jade then paused and with an uneasy look asked. "I'm not sure what you're comfortable with…"

Tori smiled and took jade's hand; she then placed it on her breast. "I'd love to tell you that I'm ready for sex but I don't think I am. I am sorry baby. But I think maybe we can start very slow. Maybe we can try sleeping together nude and for a few minutes each morning we just touch each other. Maybe after a while we can to a bit more. It will give me time to…"

Jade's short kiss cut off the Latina in mid sentence. "Were done being sorry, both you and I. Let's just enjoy being together and learn to love each other again. No matter how long it takes."

A contented smile was Tori's reply.

**I made things a bit fluffy near the end. After a rough night, they managed to really reconnect. Jade also realized she can't drink anymore. **


	16. First Steps on a Long Road

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori**

**Chapter 16 – First Steps on a Long Road.**

**No One's POV**

The Drs, office was on the 26 floor of one of Los Angeles's multitude of high rises. It was 2:50 on the day of their first appointment with the therapist that had been selected. Their appointment was at 3 o'clock.

The car ride was unusually quiet and uneventful, save for a brief time where Jade had to ditch some paparazzi that were following them. Other than that, things were quiet. Neither woman said anything to the other.

They got out of the car and walked quietly to the elevator in the parking garage. As she walked, Tori suddenly found herself getting very nervous. She had been looking forward to the therapy sessions, hoping to untie some of the mental knots her psyche was in. But actually getting close to the office, her nervous levels suddenly went off the charts.

Tori was about 27 feet from the elevator's when she suddenly froze in place. It was then she realized she really was going to have to recount all of the things that happened in that basement. Things she had very much tried to forget since she got free. Her heart began to race and Tori suddenly put her hand on her chest as she felt like she was going to hyperventilate.

Jade who had gone along to the therapy sessions at Tori's insistence, wasn't really too excited about the prospect of Therapy. Part of her wanted to straighten herself out on her own. Jade never wanted to depend on anyone. Eventually she let her self depend on Tori as they fell in love. But adding a new person to depend on really didn't appeal to Jade. But she knew Tori needed her, which was the primary reason for her going.

Jade stopped as soon as she noticed that Tori had stopped. Turning quickly to Tori, Jade could see the Latina's eyes fixed on the elevator. It was clear to Jade there was a look of panic in Tori's eyes and on top of that the Latina had begun to shake.

"What's wrong baby?" Jade said, her instinct to comfort Tori kicking in quickly, as she slid her arm around Tori's back.

'I…I….Think I'm having a pa..pani…panic attack.." Tori manages to stutter.

Jade took a quick deep breath and in her most soothing tone of voice said. "Don't worry honey, everything's ok. Were going to see the doctor, she's going to help you…and me."

Tori seemed to shake even more as a tear came to her eye. "I'm go..going to have to t…t…talk about what I went through. I'm afraid to remember it. I'm so afraid Jade."

Jade quickly pulled Tori into a hug. "Tori I know you're afraid. To be honest I'm a bit afraid too, about talking about the things I did. I love you Tori. I'm not ever going to leave you. Nothing you can say in there will make me love you any less. Now I need you to be brave for me and to come with me to the doctor's office."

Tori let out a tiny whimper as she trembled in Jade's arms. A moment later she looked into Jade's eye's. "Don't let go of my hand please. I'm really scared." She said, her voice trembling much in the manner of a frightened child.

Jade let go of Tori and took Tori's left hand. "Come on baby. Let's go."

Bolstered by Jade's comfort, Tori once again began to move on. A few minutes later they were in the waiting room, with Jade sill holding Tori's hand. Tori seemed a bit calmer, still looked somewhat nervous.

They had been there only about 3 minutes when a woman in a blue business suit with shoulder length blonde hair who appeared to be in her early to mid 40's came out.

Seeing Jade and Tori, she walked up to them extending her hand. "Hello, I'm Doctor Dana Hotchkiss, it's a pleasure to meet you." The woman said in a crisp New England accent."

Standing up quickly, Both Jade and Tori shook the Doctor's hand. Though as she did, the doctor noticed that Tori never once let got of Jade's hand. The doctor could also plainly see that Tori appeared to be very nervous and apprehensive.

She gave Tori a reassuring smile. "Jade, Tori, please follow me."

The doctor lead them through a door, down a small hallway to what they presumed was her office. It was a medium sized office on the corner of the building which gave it an incredible view. Up against one wall was a large leather couch with coffee table in front of it. Nearby was a leather chair. Up against a wall was a bookshelf with numerous psychology and self help books. In one corner by the window sat the Drs. Desk."

As Tori and Jade sat down on the couch, the doctored asked if they would like some water or coffee. Jade took some coffee and said Tori would like some water before the Latina could answer. Jade knew that the last thing Tori needed was caffeine. She was already too wound up and panicky. She felt that water would be the best choice. A subtle nod from the doctor, told her she had made the correct decision.

When they all got settled, the doctor took a pad of paper, a pen and sat down.

"Massachusetts Right? Your accent." Jade asked.

The doctor smiled. "Close, I'm from New Haven Connecticut."

Jade smiled back and in a near perfect New England accent said. "I'll have to study my accents better next time."

"Can you help us Doctor?" Tori said quietly.

"Before I start Miss Vega, can I ask you a question? You seem very nervous today. Is the thought of therapy making you nervous." The Doctor said in calm measured tones.

Tori quickly shook her head and a look of embarrassment came to her face. "Yes Doctor Hotchkiss. I had a panic attack a short while ago in the parking garage."

The doctor bit her lip for a moment. "First of all, I'm very informal. Please call me Dana. Second, what about these sessions make you the most nervous. I want to make these as comfortable as possible, for both you and Jade here."

Tori looked down at the floor as she began to speak. "It's the thought of retelling and reliving all the things that happened to me. I'm been trying to forget them. It frightens me to have to live them again."

"That's quite understandable Tori. That's why were here. To be honest, my job is not to help you forget the bad memories; it's to help you live with them. I've worked extensively with Rape victims and other people suffering with PTSD and for them, learning to live with the bad memories is the key to long term happiness. But I do realize how painful it is of course, we'll start by having you tell your story in small doses."

"Thank you Dana. I also wanted to thank you for seeing us both at the same time. I know it's a bit unusual. After all I was the one that was kidnapped, not Jade." Tori said.

Dana turned her attention to Jade. "But I'd imagine that you Jade did you own share of suffering. I understand that Tori had a TV and thus knew you were alive. No offense Jade, but you've been on TV alot with your, let's say exploits. You did not have the luxury of knowing Tori was alive. So while you're experiences were vastly different, they both stem from the very same problem. The fact that you two, were separated from each other."

Jade nodded and stated rather bluntly. "Well for starters I'm an alcoholic with guilt and anger issues. Not to mention, up to the point where Tori came back, I had a nasty habit of fucking every single woman I could. Emotionally, I feel half crippled. I want to help Tori. More than anything else in the world, but I can't help her if I'm a wreck also. I was resistant to coming here but Tori insisted, in any case I need to be here."

Dana nodded. "Straight, to the point and rather blunt, I like that. You know what's wrong with you and you want to move forward so not only do you feel better you can help your girlfriend."

"Fiancé" Corrected Jade quickly. "I asked her to marry me almost as soon as she came back."

"Very Good, my most sincere congratulations. Let's hope with some work, we can make your marriage a happy one. Unresolved problems such as ptsd, have destroyed more than one marriage. But let me give you some background on myself. I've been in practice for 20 years. I have done extensive work with victims of sexual assault and abuse. I'll admit I am a fan of your music Tori and your films Jade. I particularly found your film "I'm sorry" to be quite riveting."

Tori gave Jade a puzzled look. "You know I haven't seen any of the movies you've been in. What is that about?"

A slightly pained expression appeared on Jade's face. "It's a story about a group of mean girls that bully another girl into killing herself. Afterward the mean girls are murdered one by one, but in each case, the murders are made to be suicides. The meanest girl of all, is the last one left. Driven mad, she kills herself. I was rather hesitant to show that one to you. You'll see a great many parallels between us and the characters on screen. I wrote it out of guilt for all the things I had done to you before we were together. Several parts of the film are straight out of our lives, like the coffee incident and how I sabotaged your chemistry experiment. When you tired to demonstrate it for the class it blew up."

Tori suddenly glared at Jade.. "YOU DID THAT! I thought I was the one that messed up. That caused me to get a C Jade. I was humiliated."

Jade seemed to slump in her seat, let go of Tori's hand and rubbed her face. "I'm sorry Tor, I thought you knew I did that." Jade then looked to the doctor. "When we first met, I was mean to Tori. Sometimes I was downright cruel. I was Jealous of her talent and how she made me feel. When we first started to date, I would always wonder why she wanted to be with me. Why she could love me, after all the things I did to her.

Tori seeing Jade's spirits rapidly sinking took back Jades' hand and kissed her on the cheek. "I love you because you're wonderful. No one's perfect Jade. I'm sorry I got mad just now."

Dana watched the interaction carefully and spent the next hour just talking to Tori and Jade about their relationship, both before and after the time Tori was gone. She wanted to know just how the pair functioned as a couple, in both good and bad times. The more she knew about their relationship the better she could help them. Tori, not having to rehash began to relax seemed less nervous.

Only at the end did Dana, touch on the time spent in captivity. "Now Tori, we haven't touched on our captivity yet but I did have a question. I heard from the news that you coped by reading from a large number of books that your captor had in his basement. The news said there was one in particular that really helped you through your ordeal. But they were not sure which one. Which book was it?"

Tori nodded, "Yes I did read extensively. I told Jade that the most important one was the book "One day in the life of Ivan Denisovich" by Solzhenitsyn. It helped me form a mindset that helped my survive my captivity."

Dana appeared to think for a moment. "I'm very impressed; reading was the absolute best thing that you could have done Tori. I've read the book in college and I can see how it helped you."

"Have you read that book Jade?"

Jade shook her head, "No."

Dana pointed to Jade. "That's your first assignment. I want you read that book. At your own pace, don't think you have to finish it before the next session. But I really want you to read it. Tori really depended on this book. If you read the book, it will help you understand her mindset. It's a really good book in any case."

Jade nodded. "OK"

"Do you have an assignment for me?" Tori asked.

"Well keep doing what you are doing. I like how you're sleeping naked together. Though you don't feel ready for sex and you admitted you're a bit afraid of it. The act of sleeping naked with your lover helps you come closer to true intimacy. Your assignment is to start working on your music. Even if it is just sitting at a piano, banging keys, just do that. It will help you get back to where you once were. Work at your own pace but do work."

A smile came to Tori's lips. "It will be glad to get back to music.

"Before we wrap up, I need to stress something. This will not be an easy journey. One of the hardest things is that neither one of you is the same person the other remembers. Each of you have been changed as result of this experience. That is important to remember. But don't let that be an obstacle. I can see you both truly love each other. I also have a joint assigment. Go on a date. A real date, to dinner or the movies, what ever you like. I understand that both of you have pretty much stayed at home and spent time together. You need to get out on a date. It will help you grow closer to each other again."

Both Tori and Jade, nodded in agreement. "We'll do that." Jade answered.

Dana stood up. "Well that's all for today. Next time, we'll set some specific goals for ourselves and maybe we'll talk just a bit about life in captivity. Do you think you can handle that Tori?"

"Yes, I think I can." Tori said quietly.

"Good, you can set up an appointment with my receptionist. I would like to see you two at least once a week for starters. We have a lot to do." Dana said.

Both Tori and Jade felt good about the session and liked the doctor. Thought they only really talked about the nature of their relationship, they felt they took the first steps on the long road to recovery. One they knew they would be on together. They left the office feeling better and hopeful about the future.

"Hey Jade." Tori said as they drove out of the parking garage.

"What?"

"I think we have to go on a date, Cat's watching LJ so would you like to go on a date with me?" Tori said.

A broad smile slowly appeared onto Jade's lips. "I think I know, just the place. Not a big celebratory hangout, no paparazzi."

"You're taking me to Nozu, aren't you?"

Jade took Tori's hand again. "Where ever it is, the only thing that matters is that we're together. I love you Tori."

"I love you too Jade."

**I'm going to wrap this story up. Probably only 1 chapter, 2 at most left. I'm already working on another story, which I think you will all enjoy. **


	17. Finally the answer

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Where's Tori.**

**Chapter 17 – Finally the answer.**

**Jade's POV**

It's been almost 7 months since that first session with Dr. Dana. Although very skeptical at first, I have to admit she's done wonders with Tori, not to mention myself. It was hard in those sessions sometimes, very hard. With care and over a good many sessions, she got Tori to tell her whole story. She wisely had Tori tell the story in small parts. She would have Tori talk about an aspect of her captivity and we would work on how to cope with its negative effects.

Still it was hard, just having to hear how he violated my Tori, over and over. The story of how he raped her the first day he took her, was hardest of all. We were in therapy just over a month when she had Tori talk about that. I was amazed how she could calmly sit there and tell her story. Though about 2/3' of the way through it she simply broke down in long painful sobs. I tried everything I could, to try and keep it together for Tori while she told the story. I needed to comfort her and stay strong for her. I didn't last long, before crying myself.

Though she hadn't said it up to this point, she truly was afraid that I wouldn't want her anymore. Deep down she was terrified that I would reject her as she had been despoiled, so to speak. Even though I had reassured her a hundred times before that revelation came out, it still was very much a fear for her. That after sleeping with her, I would reject her like a body rejects an organ as not compatible. The doctor said at that point some fears, like plants, can have very deep roots. Pulling them out completely can take time and effort.

There were other issues of course, but that was one of Tori's most formable ones. There was of course my own issues, I needed to deal with. I've managed to stay sober and have slowly been working out my issues. Some of my fears were almost the same as Tori. My fear that she wouldn't want me anymore. Slowly I've been coming to terms with my guilt and anger.

Neither of us is out of the woods yet, not by a longshot. She still has nightmares, at least one to two a week. That's a significant improvement over nearly every night. The doctor tells me they may never go away completely. We haven't made love yet. Over frequent years of abuse and rape, she's gotten very afraid of sex. It had become something horribly unpleasant in that time. My reaction to sex was just the opposite; though I craved it constantly, it eventually became a meaningless and hollow thing.

She wants to be with me I can feel it, but she isn't ready. I told her that when you're ready just to let me know. I still call her Vega the majority of the time, but one day when Tori was using the bathroom during a session Dana suggested I start calling her Lover. Just as a playful pet name, to help her identify herself as being your lover again. It would build up her confidence at the same time.

Off the subject of us, I read the book as the Dr. had suggested. Turns out it was a real good book and since it helped Tori so much, I decided to make it my next directing job. Next year I will be producing and directing an adaptation of One day in the life of Ivan Denisevitch. I've wanted to direct a serious drama in any case. My first directing credit was a horror film and it did great. I want to surprise people by going in a totally different direction. I'm going to film in Russia next summer, but will be sure to take Tori and little Jade along. We'll make it a working vacation. In any case, I have no intention of being away from my girls for any length of time.

Speaking of girls, Little Jade is adjusting very well. We did decide to have her see a child psychologist to help her adjust and deal with any issues she may have. She's attending the same private school as Beck and Cat's daughter Chloe. Though Chloe is a grade ahead of Little Jade, they are now the best of friends.

I've begun the process of adopting Little Jade and the final court hearing is in a few weeks. We've already gotten her fathers, parental rights terminated. Speaking of the devil incarnate, we got extremely lucky. The man who held Tori captive, plead guilty to about 20 charges of rape, assault, kidnapping and was sentenced to life without parole. He was originally charged with many more counts but pled guilty to 20. I have no idea why he took the plea deal. So we managed to avoid a trial in which Tori or Little Jade needed to testify. I can't tell you much of a relief it was to both of us to hear that.

Tori has slowly gotten back into music as part of her recovery. I had a studio built in our home for her to work in. Using the binder of songs she wrote, she has begun to record some of the songs she and Andre think are the best. He is helping to produce her album. She plans on making it a double album, with one disk being her normal pop dance songs. The other disk will be more ballad's and tunes she wrote some her real dark times. She's got about 6 songs in the can already and there is already interest from several record labels.

It's good to see her at work in the studio again. I can tell singing and recording been very therapeutic for her. Some days I'll just sit behind the sound engineer and quietly watch her work. I see her come alive when she sings again, I love it. Even little Jade enjoys watching her mommy work. She has proudly usurped my position of #1 Tori Vega fan. I even had a t shirt made up for her, so she can proclaim it to all. It is her favorite shirt.

That brings us up to today, I am sitting in the back of a rather large luxury Yacht that I have rented for 3 weeks. It has a full queen size bed in our stateroom and every amenity one could want. We even have a small crew to operate the vessel. At present are somewhere between St. Thomas and St. Martin. Though we've been doing rather well in our recovery, I realized that Tori and I havent' had too much of the way of Alone time. So I planned this vacation for the both of us.

Little Jade at present is in New York City, visiting Tori's dad, stepmom and brother. She's having a wonderful time in the Big Apple. I arranged the whole thing as a surprise for both Tori and little Jade. She's wanted to visit Grandpa Vega and mommies brother so one day at dinner I dropped the bomb.

"Hey LJ how would you like to visit Grandpa Vega in New York on winter break." I said between bites of salad.

Before she could answer I glanced at Tori who narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me.

"CAN I? I'd love too. Grandpa Vega said I could ride in a real squad car." LJ squealed in Joy.

A smile came to my face. "Good, because you're leaving on Friday."

"JADE!" Tori suddenly barked out. She sounded a bit annoyed that I was going to send our child on vacation without telling her first.

My smile turned into a smirk as I looked over at rather stunned looking Tori. "Don't you like surprise's Vega?"

Her mouth hung open as if she was lost for something to say. At this point I pulled out a large picture from the folder I on the table behind me and slid it over to Tori.

She glanced at the picture looking rather puzzled. "You're sending her to New York on a Boat?"

I rolled my eyes which did nothing to improve Tori's mood. "First of all lover it's not a boat, it is a Yacht. That is called the Medusa, it's a 200' motor yacht, bar, living room, full sized galley, huge master stateroom, and a full crew to run it. Starting on Saturday it will be our home for the next 3 weeks as we sail the Caribbean.

As I expected her mouth opened further but no sound came out of it. I love the look of shock and surprise that comes across Tori's face, those times I really manage to surprise her. Tori, still looking rather shocked, looked to the photo and then back to me.

"It is called a vacation lover, you, me, romantic locales all alone for 3 weeks. Unless you don't want too, I think I still have Gwen's phone number around here somewhere." I said, my voice trailing off at the end. Ok that was a bit mean of me to say, but I'm still Jade after all.

"Can I speak with you in private, dear." It was the way she said "dear" in that icy tone of voice ,that I know I pissed her off with the Gwen reference. She was my last fuck buddy before Tori came back.

"Why certainly." I said quickly as I got up.

I had gotten several feet out onto the patio when I heard the door close behind me. I was beginning to regret my little Gwen crack. Sometimes my love of shocking people, really goes against my better judgment.

I fully expected the slap I received a moment later, as I turned around.

For a moment Tori just stood there seething as I rubbed my cheek. "OK, I deserved that."

"Are you ever going to mention that whore again Jade?" Judging by the look of hatred on Tori's face, I'd better not do that again.

I could say two things at this point.

"Which whore?" or "NO"

Saying "which whore" would be much more funny and shocking but would get me another slap in the face and at least 2 nights in the guest bedroom. But ultimately it would hurt Tori, even more than I've already done so. By this point I had really begun to regret my wisecrack.

I felt a huge surge of remorse, as I looked down in shame. "No." I said quietly. "Sorry about that, Tori. I just say things sometimes."

After what felt like an eternity, she put her finger under my chin and pulled it up to look at me. A smile returned to her face. "Jade I love you, you're my best friend, soul mate, and mother to my child. I'll say I even missed those horrible wisecracks which piss me off beyond belief. But please don't ever mention that girl again, it hurts my feelings. So why don't you stop being a gank and go back to being wonderful Jade, then tell me all about the lovely romantic vacation you have cooked up for me."

I took Tori's hand and began to explain our vacation. "I rented out a 200 foot Yacht called the Medusa. It can hold up to twelve guests, but there will only be just us. It has a crew of 14 to run the vessel. It has huge master stateroom with queen sized bed, a full galley, huge living room with big screen satellite tv, every luxury you could possibly think of. We will board the vessel in San Juan Puerto Rico, and then we will leisurely cruise down the Caribbean. We can stop by St. Kitts, St. Barts, Guadeloupe, Barbados, where ever we want to go. We have the vessel for 3 weeks. I've arranged for Little Jade to stay with your father for 2 weeks and your sister for one week."

As I waited for Tori's reaction, I could see her step closer to me. A smile grew on her face as she took her hands and put them around my neck. "So you've gotten rid of the child and are going to take me away on a long romantic cruise?"

A puzzled look came to my face. "I think that's what I just said."

Tori then just kissed me and hugged me tight. "Thank you baby. I love it already."

We've been at sea for 4 days now. We spent the last two in St. Thomas and are now slowly cruising towards St. Maartin. Judging by all the shopping Tori had done in the last two days, I think I'm going to need a bigger boat.

Its night time now and I'm sitting on a deck chair on the very back of the Yacht. Tori is in our stateroom, reading in bed. She retained her habit of reading all the time. She usually reads for a half an hour before bed, mostly romance novels. Me, I've just been sitting there watching all the stars hanging above. It's all so beautiful and quiet and my mind is absorbed in the moment.

My eyes drift up to the constellation Orion, its one of the few that I know. There he is, a lonely hunter, forever in the sky, hunting what ever he's supposed to be hunting. I know how he feels, hunting for something endlessly. Never sure if you're going to find it.

"Jade, I'm ready." Tori sings out in a melodious tone of voice, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Quickly standing up and spinning around, I was struck by what I saw. At first I had no idea what the meaning of the words "I'm ready." Seeing her left no doubt in my mind what she meant.

Tori was standing there, in the open patio doors between the deck and the large living room. She was clothed in only a white silken robe, tied just lose enough to give me a nice view down between her breasts and below. Her hair and make up were done perfectly. I can't ever remember her looking more beautiful in my life. I was totally blown away.

As my eyes greedily drank up her beauty, i found myself thinking she looked like some ancient Greek goddess. I was at a total loss for words.

She smiled and slowly walked up to me. Before she got within 5 feet of me, I could smell the perfume that clung to her body. It was the perfume that I loved on Tori most of all. Just that scent itself sent a tingle through my entire body. With each approaching step, my heart began to race faster.

A small gust of when lifter her hair for a moment as she came up to me. She then took her hand and cupped it on my cheek. Her touch felt like magic.

Her voice was soft and sweet. "I know you've been patient with me and I can't thank you enough. It's been so very long since I've been with you, a full ten years now. I feel that I'm ready to be with you now." Tori paused for a moment for a small kiss.

"Jade, I love you. I need to be with you. I need to feel like I'm a beautiful, attractive and loved woman again. I missed being with you so very badly. I need your touch, I need us to be lovers again. Only then will I truly feel like I've come home. Make love to me."

My brain stopped working at that point, I felt a rush of emotion like I've never felt before. Before I knew it a single tear ran down my cheek, followed by another. What I heard was so beautiful and touching I was quickly reduced to tears.

Tori looked concerned for a moment as she wiped my tears away. "Why are you crying Jade?"

"I…" Sniff "I…thought I'd never see this moment again. I was so broken without you Tori. I'm so happy that you still love me and want to be with me. You're so beautiful." I said now sobbing. Only Tori Vega could reduce me, Jade West, to a sobbing mess.

Tori pulled me into a tight hug until i stopped crying. Then she wiped my tears, took my hand and smiled. "Come on, make me feel special again. Because I plan to do the same for you."

Without another word, she led me back inside to our state room. She had soft romantic music playing. My tears had stopped but my heart was racing. I suddenly became very nervous, like it was my very first time.

Tori chuckled. "Come on baby, relax. It's like falling off a bike."

My eyebrow raised, upon hearing that. "Falling off a bike hurts you know."

That little remark broke the tension. A moment later she opened her robe and it fell silently to the floor.

I can't tell you how many times I had sex in the years that Tori was missing, but I can tell you how many times I made love, Zero. Tori slipped invitingly into the bed and I with her as our passions suddenly overcame us. For the first time in 10 years I was making love to Tori, my true love. As horrendously sappy as it sounds, it was beautiful and soul touching. Our bodies pressed against each other as our souls reconnected. As we continued to make love, I felt a huge hole inside of vanish. It was only then, did I realize how empty my heart and soul truly were without Tori.

It's hard for me to describe in words all that we did, it was as much emotional as physical. Such a simple act, as caressing the small of a woman's back is much easier to describe, than the myriad of feelings one feels when one does that simple action. Tori was as much affected as I was. I could feel the want and need as she poured kisses all across my pale naked form. I returned the favor when I spent half an hour just running my hands across her tanned body. Like I was reacquainting myself with her body. As we continued to make love, it almost became a playful competition to see who could pleasure the other more.

Each of us was determined to show, with our bodies just how much we had missed the other. I brought her to climax first, the deep moans coming from her was like music to my ears. The feeling that I felt, that we felt as we came together. She quickly returned the favor. We kept going until we had exhausted each other. Neither of us wanted to stop making love, but our bodies betrayed us by simply running out of steam.

As she finally collapsed into my arms, a huge smile on her face, I truly felt that my Tori had come back to me. I had more than made her feel special and beautiful and loved. For the first time since Tori came back I could see that beautiful light in her eyes reappear. My own heart and soul had finally begun to heal. We had made love, something that both of us badly needed and it was fucking increadable, to put it bluntly.

"I love you Jade." Tori murmured without opening her eyes.

"I love you too Tori." I said, planting a kiss on her head.

We both have a ways to go, but we were well on our way to healing ourselves. Our wedding is planned for next year, and then she'll be mine forever. I'll happily proclaim myself, to her hers forever as well. No one will ever separate us again.

That original message that Tori left me on that day so long ago. "Hey Honey, it's me. I just finished in studio for the day. I'm going to stop at the store to get milk on the way home. Love you.

It was a 6 second long message that was left in a voice mail, much like I'm sure thousands of were that day across the world I still have it on my phone. Why do you ask?

I keep it as a reminder. To remind me how precious Tori Vega is to me. How hollow and meaningless my life is without her. How I lost her once and by the grace of god was given back to me. It also reminds me that life is just as precious and we must cherish every moment of it. For none of us know what will happen next.

I hear Tori's breathing beginning to deepen as she drifts into sleep. I'll join her in a few moments and I know we will continue our lovemaking session in the morning. Heck, I supect, we won't even get out of our stateroom tommorrow.

For years I kept asking the question, "Where's Tori?"

I can finally sleep knowing the answer. "Sleeping naked in my arms, right where she belongs."

**I'd like to thank everyone for reading and reviewing this story. It was a bit of a difficult one for me to write. So much angst and pain. But in the end, they finally made love and reconnected. Both well on their way to recovery.**

**My next story will be out soon. It involves a bet between Tori and Jade and weather or not they can stay out of each other's business. **


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